


Greatest Time Of Year

by jaykw2614



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 12DaysofClexa, Christmas Fluff, Christmas in NYC, Clexmas18, Day 2: A Christmas Story, Exes Clarke & Lexa, Exes to Friends to Lovers (maybe), F/F, Feelings resurface, Posted late, Previous Clexa relationship, multichapter fic, originally posted on ff.net, originally written for another fandom, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-09-25 14:58:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 36,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17123534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaykw2614/pseuds/jaykw2614
Summary: Clarke and Lexa broke up almost two years ago, but are now trying to be friends again. This Christmas, they are spending separate holidays in The Big Apple. But after boredom sets in they decide to spend some time together to work on their new friendship.FYI - This fic was originally written and posted on FF.Net a few years ago as a Schmidt x Cece fic for the show New Girl, but I thought it'd be cool to rewrite it as a Clexa fic so I made some serious edits.





	1. Joy To The World And Everyone

 

 

“…I really like being your friend again.”   
   
Lexa felt her heart drop down ten stories and disappear into oblivion. She didn’t know how six simple words, meant to provide comfort could make her feel hopeless and yet surprisingly content at the same time. It had been almost two years since their break up and they had only just recently gotten to a point where they could be in the same room together and be friendly. And now as they sat at a table in the food court of LAX, waiting for their flight to New York to begin boarding, they wanted to take that next step into trying to be the friends they once were to one another.  
   
Given all the mistakes Lexa had made, part of her was more than thankful that Clarke was even willing to consider being friends with her. Although, something about the way the blonde spoke made her words seem so final. As if that was all they could ever be from that point on. And for that, she couldn’t blame her. All Lexa could do was swallow the pain, which she knew she deserved, and just grin and bear it.  
   
“My friend.”   
   
Hearing the pain in her voice and seeing the hurt in her eyes caused Clarke’s face to slightly fall. Though they both tried to hide behind a forced smile, she knew Lexa too well, and she could see that she was dying on the inside. She hated that she was doing that to her and wished like hell that they go back and re-do everything that brought them to this moment, but that was just not possible. She had no way of knowing if they would ever be able to get back to a place where she felt safe with her again. She knew she had to be more cautious going forward, especially with Lexa.  
   
As hard as it was for her to do so, Lexa held the gaze her eyes had on hers. In that brief moment, she searched deep within them to get some kind of sense as to what she was feeling. she used to do that a lot back when they first started dating. This time, looking into those gorgeous blue eyes, what she read in them was genuine comfort and care towards her. It only took a second for it to register in her mind, but that was all she needed to come to terms with accepting this new status of their relationship…their new friendship.  
   
“I really like being your friend again too.”   
 

* * *

Clarke was woken up by the pilot announcing to all the passengers of the plane that they were approaching JFK and getting ready to make their descent. It was then that she reaKassed that she had fallen asleep on the shoulder of her ex who was still fast asleep with her head tilted back. Clarke pulled her head up and leaned back over to her own seat before the brunette would notice, but she never stirred. Clarke glanced over at her to assure that she was still sleeping, contemplating whether or not to wake her. she looked so cute when she was sleeping. She didn’t want to take her eyes off of her. Lexa’s nose haphazardly crinkled the way it always did when she was deep in slumber. Clarke smiled at the small movement that soon acted as a trigger to all the memories she had held onto. All those nights lying in bed with her after sex when they were first starting out and hiding their relationship from their friends. Clarke would make up excuses to prolong her stay, saying that she was too tired to try to leave or didn’t want to risk being caught by one of the roommates getting up to pee at 4 am, but those were just lies she fed her to keep Lexa from knowing the truth. She enjoyed lying in bed with her and even watching her sleep sometimes.   

She thought back to one night in particular during their first few weeks together dating in secret. _She broke into the loft and snuck into her room at 3 o’clock in the morning. It had been almost a week since she and Lexa’s last rendezvous and she was craving her like an addict going through withdrawals. The few times she tried to reach her for a booty call, she didn’t answer. Octavia had mentioned to her that Lexa had been working non-stop and was completely exhausted. So, a desperate Clarke decided to take matters into her own hands._  
  
_Earlier that night, Clarke had gone out with some of her friends from work to a club and spent the whole evening partying. All night, guys were hitting on her and trying to convince her to go home with them, but none of them had really interested her. They were the exact same type of guys she had usually hooked up with, but lately, they just weren’t doing it for her. The only thing on her mind was the toned, green-eyed brunette she had waiting for her…hopefully._  
  
_She quietly closed the door to her room and crawled onto the bed with her, but before she could bring herself to wake Lexa, she sat there motionless, just watching her. She looked so peaceful lying there in a sports bra, on her right side with her arm under her pillow. A few moments had passed before she started to wonder if what she was doing constituted as stalker behavior. Suddenly feeling incredibly creeped out by herself, she tried to gently wake her without frightening her, but that outcome was inevitable._

As the thought of seeming creepy occurred to her again, she snapped herself from the past and back into reality sitting next to a sleeping Lexa on the plane. Clarke placed her hand on her shoulder to softly shake her awake. “Lexa…. Lexa, wake up.” She whispered to her. Lexa slowly began to come to, rubbing her eyes and stretching her back. 

   
“What’s going on?” she asked with a slightly groggy voice. “Did you need to use the bathroom?” her eyes were only half open as she looked at Clarke, but even that was enough for the blonde to get lost in them. She flustered a bit before remembering why she had woken her up in the first place.  
   
“Um…n-no…I don’t. Uh…We’re about to land.” She turned back to face forward and exhaled slowly and quietly.   
   
“How long was I out?” Lexa asked curiously, not remembering ever falling asleep.  
   
“I don’t know. I fell asleep too.” Lexa shuffled around under her feet to assure that her carryon bag was still beneath her feet and was ready to go when they landed. As the plane began its descent, getting closer to the ground, Clarke got that sick feeling she always got from flying. She tried to hide it from Lexa, closing her eyes and sitting up as straight as she could with her back pushed right up against the back of her seat. She attempted to control her breathing, but was completely unaware of the fact that she sounded like a woman in the early stages of labor. Lexa patted the back of her hand in an effort to ease her worry.   
   
“Just relax.” she said sweetly, “It’s almost over.” Lexa pulled her hand back to her lap trying not to overstep in the territory of their new friendship.  
   
Clarke, however, was so unnerved that she couldn’t even bring herself to utter a simple thank you, let alone realize if her hand lingered on hers. She was grateful for the gesture and found it sweet that she noticed. The plane suddenly touched down on the runway and bounced for a moment or two. Without even realizing, Clarke’s hand flew across the arm rests and located one of her’s in her lap. She squeezed for dear life. Lexa was just glad she doesn’t make her living playing guitar for some Alternative Rock band, because then she would be screwed. Though she couldn’t care less. If there was anything that she could do to help Clarke feel better when she was scared, she would move heaven and earth to do so.  
   
Lexa let her squeeze away, running her thumb along the backside of her hand for reassurance. As the plane slowed down and turned off the runway, Clarke finally felt relaxed enough to let go. It wasn’t until she released her hand that she realized just how deadly her grip actually was. Lexa tried not to let her see her massage her hand.  
   
“Oh my god. I’m so sorry, Lexa.” She had no idea that she was squeezing that hard. Feeling somewhat embarrassed, Clarke bit the corner of her lower lip.   
   
“Ah, don’t worry about it.” she said. “I’m just glad I could help. Are you feeling better now?”  
   
“Yeah, I think so. Thank you.” Her voice was still a bit shaky. Clarke looked at her out the corner of her eye and in doing so, caught Lexa doing the same. They shared a kind smile with one another.  
   
“Anytime.” Lexa said as they both broke their connection. It started getting a bit awkward.   
   
“I don’t know why, but I just get so freaked out when the plane starts going down like that.”  
   
“I know.”  
   
Clarke looked at her confused. “How?”  
   
“That cruise we all went on a few years ago. We had to fly back from Mexico. You grabbed my arm so fast. I thought you were going to dislocate my shoulder, you were gripping it so tight.”  
   
“You remember that?”  
   
“Of course I do.” Clarke couldn’t help but feel a tug at her heartstrings at that statement. She smiled sweetly at her just before hearing the pilot address all the passengers of the plane.  
   
“Ladies and gentlemen, as we make our way to the gate, I ask that you please remain seated until we come to a complete stop and the seatbelt lights turn off. On behalf of everyone I would like to thank you for choosing American Airlines for your holiday travel needs. Welcome to New York City and have a very Merry Christmas.”  
   
Lexa and Clarke sat in silence as the plane slowly made its way towards the gate entrance. Like them, most of the other passengers were getting their bearings after having been woken up. Soon enough, they came to a complete stop, the seatbelt lights turned off and everyone stood. Lexa, ever the gentleman, stood up and blocked the aisle from all the passengers behind them to allow Clarke ample room to depart the plane.

* * *

  
   
JFK was about as crazy as LAX had been. All around them people were rushing around and rudely pushing past each other without any regard for others. Like a scene from World War Z, it was every man for themselves. Lexa did her best to block any and all wanderers from trampling Clarke. In her, there was an instinctual need to protect her. It was as if she was a bodyguard and she a famous popstar after a concert trying to dodge unruly fans. Things settled down a bit the closer they got to the exit.  
   
Lexa and Clarke reached the escalator going down and finally felt like they could relax. “Jesus Christ,” Clarke said. “Christmas is supposed to be a happy time, but everyone is acting like it’s the end of the world.”  
   
“Yeah…it’s pretty crazy. You okay?” Lexa asked her somewhat out of breath.  
   
“I’m good. What about you? You were pushing passed them like a Linebacker. I didn’t know you had it in you.”  
   
“I was trying to make sure you didn’t get stampeded by an angry hoard of New Yorkers. There’s a reason this is called the most aggressive city in the world, and the holidays just send it into overdrive.” Clarke smiled at her appreciatively. If there was anything she took away from her entire relationship with Lexa, it was that no matter what, she would do anything for the people she cared about.  
   
“Aw. My hero.” She said playfully as their eyes met and they shared a smile.   
   
The pair made it down to the terminal exit and immediately their smiles faded. The line for the cab stand seemed to go on for miles. Each of them knew there was no way they were getting out of there for at least four hours.  
   
“You have got to be kidding me.” Clarke threw hands in the air and rolled her eyes.  
   
“Well this is just fantastic!” Lexa said sarcastically. They were both beyond aggravated.   
   
“So. What do we do now? Do we just…wait?”  
   
Lexa angrily put her hands on her hips and shrugged. “I don’t know.”  
   
Seeing that the rental car line was not nearly as long, Clarke made a suggestion. “I mean…I guess we could just…rent a car or something.”  
   
Lexa looked around trying desperately to rack her brain for an idea that would get them out of that God forsaken airport within the next few minutes. That’s when her eyes caught sight of their ticket out. Off to the right of the exit doors stood a group of Chauffer’s holding signs for their intended clients. Clarke could see the lightbulb in her head suddenly flick on and got curious, so she followed Lexa’s line of sight and saw what she had.  
   
“Actually,” Lexa said, looking at Clarke with a sly smile that made her anxious, “I might have an idea.”  
   
Her face cringed. “Oh god. Are you sure about this?”  
   
“Just trust me.” As Lexa made her way to where the drivers stood, Clarke was a few steps behind her given that she had mentally checked out for a second. Hearing that word escape from her lips in such a casual manner made her a little uneasy. There was a time when she was one of the few people she had trusted. Thinking about it now, though, she had to ask herself if any part of her trusted her, and if so, in what way?  
   
They both stopped when they were about ten feet away from the collection of suited men.  “Okay. Wait here until I flag you over, and then…you just…follow my lead.” Clarke nodded, reluctantly following along blindly with Lexa’s plan that was sure to get her arrested. Lexa walked up to chauffer holding a sign that read ‘K. Morgan’ and decided to try her luck.  
   
“For Morgan?” Lexa asked with confidence, which was met with a quizzical look from the driver.  
   
“You’re Kass Morgan?”  
   
Lexa smiled at the chauffer, waving him off. “No, I work for Miss Morgan. She’s right over there.” Lexa pointed to where Clarke stood, catching her off guard as, both Lexa & the chauffer’s eyes were aimed in her direction. “Hey Kass, would come over here please?” Lexa called over to her. Clarke hesitantly walked over to where she was being summoned.  
   
Assessing the situation, Clarke understood the general idea of what was transpiring and adapted. “Yes. I am Kass Morgan. Sorry I had to send my assistant over. I was collecting myself, it was a long flight.”  
   
“Understood ma’am. Traveling during the holidays is crazy.” With that verbal acceptance of her identification, the Chauffer lowered the sign that displayed the name of her new alias and began grabbing their luggage. Once he had a firm hold on the bags, he led them outside the airport where his black limo was waiting curbside.  
   
“Oh. Don’t I know it?” Clarke was a natural at deception and was owning this façade. Lexa was more than impressed with her performance.  
   
“So where am I taking you today Miss Morgan?”  
   
“Well…I’m going to The Roosevelt on 45th & Madison. But my assistant here will be staying elsewhere. I gave her the holidays off to spend time with family.”  
   
“That was nice of you.” The driver reached the trunk of the car, opened it and began to load all of their luggage, grabbing bags from Lexa as well.  
   
“Ah…Well…What can I say?” It was scary how great her acting chops were.   
   
“So, I take it…I’m dropping her off after you then?” The driver directed towards Lexa.  
   
“If you don’t mind.” Clarke answered for him politely.  
   
“Not at all ma’am.” He closed the trunk and stepped back up onto the curb to open the door for his two passengers. Clarke got in first flashing a friendly grin and was followed by Lexa who nodded as she entered the vehicle. 

* * *

Once the driver’s door closed, he lowered the partition separating the two areas of the limo. The driver turned in her seat to face his guests. “So, Miss Morgan…I have your destination, but where am I dropping your assistant?”  
   
“-Long Island!”   “-Queens!”  
   
They both exclaimed in unison, once again confusing the driver. Lexa and Clarke both looked at each other. “I thought your mom still lived in Long Island.” Clarke asked puzzled by the change of neighborhood Lexa mentioned.  
   
“She does, but this year we’re spending the holidays with my cousin and her mother. They live in Queens.”  
   
“Wait. You mean Anya? The one I met during the ‘Friendsgiving’ pot-luck we had a few years ago?”  
   
“The one and only.” The driver just sat there while they carried on their conversation, as they temporarily forgot his presence.  
   
“Good luck with that.”  
   
“Thanks. I’m going to need all I can get.” She wasn’t kidding, Lexa knew full well the hell she was in for and hearing her tone, Clarke got an idea of how her vacation was going to go.  
   
After a few seconds of silence, the driver spoke up to confirm his secondary destination. “So…Queens then?” he asked.  
   
“Yes, thank you.” With that, the driver turned back into his seat, closing the partition and starting the car. Seconds later, they were on the road fighting through holiday highway hell.  -- The drive into the city took as long as one could expect given the time of year. Lexa and Clarke, however barely noticed. They weren’t even in the limo for a full two minutes before finding the fully stocked minibar. To celebrate their success in tricking the driver and procuring for themselves a free ride, Clarke popped a bottle of expensive champagne and poured them both glasses. They passed the time playing stupid road trip games that only seemed less dumb the tipsier they got.   
   
The two of them were having such a good time that they didn’t even realize that they were having a legitimate friendly interaction. There were no awkward pauses or momentary lapses filled with weird tension. They were just two people who had been the best of friends for years. Nothing more, nothing less. These kinds of interactions had become a somewhat rare occurrence, but they did happen on occasion.   
   
The most recent was this past Thanksgiving. After the soiree was all said and done, Clarke stayed behind to play board games with Lexa. They had a few beers and settled themselves on the living room floor attempting to translate what seemed to be the Spanish version of Monopoly that Raven had bought. Clarke was almost positive that they were playing it completely wrong, but Lexa was having a hell of a time just making it up as they went along. She would pretend that she could actually read the playing cards and each and every one had worked for her advantage. Clarke got a kick out of seeing how excited she got, thinking she was actually winning. The blonde would pretend to be annoyed with her and her cheating, but secretly, she wouldn’t have it any other way.  
   
“Here we are.” Both of them were caught off guard when the chauffer rolled down the partition. Hearing his voice call out to them that they had arrived snapped them back to the present in an instant. They each looked outside the window and saw the entrance to the hotel where Clarke would be spending her trip.  
   
“Oh.” She said, accidentally letting her disappointment slip into her tone. She was having a nice time hanging with Lexa in the back of that limo. Lexa got out first and helped her out of the backseat in a true gentlemanly style.   
   
“Miss Morgan.” Lexa said sarcastically, extended her hand out for Clarke to take as she stepped out of the car and onto the curb in front of the building. The driver was already at the trunk pulling out her luggage and setting it down on the curb next to them. He tipped his hat to her and wished her a ‘Happy Holidays’ then walked back around the car to take his place in the driver’s seat to allow them their last words before parting ways.   
   
For a moment or so, the two of them stood awkwardly facing each other wondering how to go about bidding each other adieu.   
   
Clarke let out a small sigh. “So…I guess this is goodbye for now?”  
   
“More like a see you later.”  
   
“Right, well. I’ll see you back at JFK on the thirtieth then.”   
   
“You shall…And hey, if you ever need anything, I’m just a phone call away.”  
   
Clarke smiled at her for being ever so sweet. No matter what, she never failed to express her concern for her. “I appreciate that.”   
   
Lexa returned the smile. “What are friends for?” With that, Clarke’s subconscious acted on her behalf. She leaned in and wrapped her arms around the brunette and pulled her in close for a hug. Lexa brought her arms up to reciprocate. The embrace lasted for a long moment. While Clarke was holding on because she felt so secure in her arms, Lexa was taking this time to breathe her in. She missed being flooded with her scent that she had once described as ‘heavenly’.  
   
Their moment had reached its inevitable end and they both pulled away, immediately meeting the others eyes. “Happy Holidays, Lexa.”  
   
“Happy Holidays to you too, Clarke.” Lexa gave one last smile to her as she turned and got back into the back seat of the limo and shut the door behind her.  
   
Once the road was clear, the vehicle pulled out of the loading space and onto the busy streets of New York and continued to its next destination. Clarke held her place on the sidewalk in front of her hotel. Her eyes were glued to the tail lights of the car. Part of her could still feel the frame of her ex-girlfriend against her. She couldn’t believe that she had started to miss her already, but she knew herself well enough to know that it wasn’t her company that she was really missing.

* * *

  
Lexa sat quietly in the back seat of the commandeered limo, staring out the window, watching what seemed like the world pass her by. The skyscrapers, the people, the city as a whole, it all seemed new to her every time she came back. Maybe that was because she didn’t come back often. Suddenly she was hit with a wave of nostalgia, and all the memories from her childhood slowly resurfaced. All the teasing, the bullying and embarrassing moments, being chased down the block, it made her cringe.  
   
Out the window, she saw the sign for the Queensboro Bridge. Right on cue, her stomach became overwhelmed with the feeling of dread. The thought of being stuck in her cousin’s house with her overbearing, critical mother & her nagging aunt along with countless other members of her family, gave her a premature migraine. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, trying to ease her irritation by going to her happy place and hopefully relieve her anxiety. The minute she allowed both her body to relax and her brain to mentally check itself out, she became inundated with images of the woman she just left.   
   
She wasn’t surprised that the blonde was all she could think about. Whenever she needed to calm herself down, her mind would always inadvertently overload itself with images and memories of the one that got away. Lexa never forgave herself for the way things turned out with Clarke. In fact, she hated herself for it.  
   
Whenever she thought about all the crap she had put her through, she felt a pit in her stomach. She had that same feeling eight hours ago back at LAX when Clarke had made a point to tell her that she really liked being her friend. That hit her harder than she ever could imagine. Lexa had no illusions about her future with Clarke. Though occasionally, she would fantasize about the possibility of them getting back together, with the internal promise to herself to do better. But after that conversation, those fantasies fell even further on the spectrum of possibly becoming a reality.  
   
‘I really like being your friend’. Her voice uttering that sentence over and over again was tormenting her. It was her own fault, and once again, she just had to grin and bear it. She also saw this as an opportunity. Clarke was a part of her life and she was intent on keeping it that way. They may never have a romantic relationship again, but being friends will have to suffice. Lexa decided that she was going to give this friendship a true shot and give it her all. Starting as soon as possible. She couldn’t lose her from her life for good. She wouldn’t.


	2. Help Me Celebrate It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa wake up in New York and immediately need something to do.

 

 

 

It hadn’t been a very restful night for the young blonde woman. All evening she tossed and turned with the worst feeling of guilt she had felt in a long time. When she closed her eyes, her mind was plagued with the image of Lexa’s face as she mentally processed the sentence she had uttered. Her mind was stuck on that one word, ‘friend’.   
   
Clarke remembered laying her head down to rest at around 10 that night. Time hadn’t seemed to go by all too quickly, but the next time her head rolled over to glance at the clock, she was surprised to find that it was now 6:42 AM. Exhaustion, however, was the least of her worries. Try as she might she could not escape the remorse of crushing the one person who loved her endlessly.  
   
She decided to give up on trying to doze off. It was a moot point. Besides, her mother and stepfather, Marcus, had asked her to meet them downstairs for breakfast at 7:30. Clarke pulled the comforters off her and made her way to the bathroom, turning on the shower to begin her morning ritual.

Clarke was so distracted yesterday trying to understand how to move forward with Lexa, that she hadn’t even noticed how amazing the hotel was. She got off the elevator to the lobby and followed the signs for the restaurant, passing along the way, the spa, indoor pool & the fitness center. That’s when it had dawned on her that the many times she had been to New York, she hadn’t taken the time to stop and take in the sights and see the true exquisiteness the city had to offer.  
   
The restaurant was fairly fancy, not that she was expecting anything less given that they were at ‘The Roosevelt’. Before she could open her mouth to ask the maître-d where to find her table, her mother had caught sight of her and flagged her over to where she and her stepfather, Marcus, were sitting. “Clarke! Over here.” Abby Griffin hoarsely shouted to her daughter.   
   
“How did you sleep?” Her mother asked her sincerely as she took her seat.  
   
Clarke shrugged. “Not that great. I guess I’m still kind of Jet-lagged.” Jet-lag was a better reason for a restless night than admitting to her mother that she was up all-night thinking about her ex-girlfriend.   “Well I’m sure it will wear off soon.”  
   
“Yeah, I hope so.”  
   
Marcus took note of his stepdaughter’s sullen tone and made an attempt to lift her spirits. “Maybe if you’re not too tired, you would like to join us today.” He asked.  
   
“Really? What are you guys up to?” Clarke tried her best not to sound too bland, but she knew any plans that the two of them had made for the day could, in no way, be appealing to her.  
   
“We’re going to Newark to visit with some of Marcus’ family.” Abby said encouragingly.   
   
The last thing Marcus wanted to do was bore her. “Afterwards, we were planning to visit Ellis Island. Make a day of it.” He wasn’t quite sure what Clarke was into. They didn’t talk all that much, but didn’t have that cliché type of stepparent/stepchild relationship either. He married her mother well after she left home and didn’t get many opportunities to bond, but all of their interactions displayed a mutually respectful aspect.  
   
“Actually, you know, I was thinking about just staying in the city, close to the hotel in case I suddenly get hit with a wave of exhaustion.” Marcus was neither disappointed nor surprised at her answer. He was expecting her to opt out, but at the very least, he wanted to make sure she knew she was welcomed to join them.  
   
The same could not be said for Abby, however. Spending time with family was something she took very seriously and was frustrated when her only daughter didn’t seem to share in that regard.   
   
“Clarke…I really think you should join us. It would be good for you to learn the history of this country.”  
   
“Abby…” Marcus interjected on Clarke’s behalf. “I’m sure she doesn’t want to spend the day with people twice her age getting a history lesson. She’s a grown woman, she’ll be fine on her own.”  
   
“Well I don’t like the idea of you wandering off all alone in this big city by herself.”  
   
“Mom, I’m not going to be walking down dark alleys. Besides, I’ve been here millions of times, I’ll be fine.” As reassuring as she tried to be, Clarke knew it was completely lost on her mother. She was the kind of woman who worried constantly, even about matters that didn’t warrant concern.  
   
“I still don’t like it.”  
   
“Look…” Clarke began, “If it’ll make you feel better, I have a friend in town visiting family for the holidays. I’ll give them a call.” She worded her sentence carefully as to not specify whether the friend was a man or woman. She was, of course, referring to Lexa, but didn’t want to lie to her mother, nor did she feel like getting sucked into a lecture about who she spent her time with.  
   
The older Griffin woman was still uneasy. Looking back and forth between her daughter and husband, she decided to drop the matter for now. “Fine.” Clarke tried to hide her smile knowing that if she let her cheek muscles run rampant, she would have flashed a full, teeth-showing beam, but didn’t want to impair the illusion that she was exhausted.

* * *

  
Unlike her ex-girlfriend, Lexa was enjoying a slumber so deep, it was borderline hibernation. She found it was easier to get a good night’s rest when she wasn’t encumbered with work or being woken up by her loud and mischievous roommates. Her cousins’ couch was surprisingly comfortable given that it looked like she bought it second-hand.  
   
Lexa had every intention of sleeping until the last possible second her body would allow her to, but whatever god she believed in seemed to have other plans. As if there was some higher power delivering a personal ‘screw you’ to her, she was abruptly startled awake by the overpowering and thunderous sound of her mother and her aunt bellowing at the top of their lungs. Lexa’s eyes snapped open and she was immediately plagued with the feeling of dread that always accompanied her visits home. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t will herself to go back to sleep and knew it was only a matter of time before someone tried to wake her up anyway. Rolling her eyes, Lexa threw the blanket off herself and sat up. She took a minute get her bearings before standing up and heading towards the origin of her growing headache.  
   
The smell of coffee wafting throughout the house was beckoning her. If only she could develop powers of invisibility at this very moment that would allow her to slip into the kitchen and grab a cup without anyone noticing. But of course, that was wishful thinking. The second her bare foot hit the cold kitchen tile, all eyes were on her. She pretended not to notice, making a beeline for the coffee machine knowing full well that she couldn’t face either of the two women without a caffeine boost.  
   
“Well looked who finally decided to join the land of the living.” It was all Lexa could do to keep her skin from crawling at the shrill sound of her Aunt Adriana’s voice.   
   
“Honestly, honey. It’s almost noon. How can you sleep all day?” Ava Woods was the Queen of overbearing, controlling, nagging mothers everywhere. Then again, she was Italian.  
   
“I guess I’m just jet-lagged.”  
   
Ava scoffed at her daughter. “Jet-lagged. How are you jet-lagged? You were born and raised here.”  
   
Everything should all be second nature to you every time you come back.” The fact that that ridiculous statement made sense to Lexa made her shudder as she joined the two women at the table.  
   
She felt what little energy she had at the moment drastically drain from her body, and needed another hit of caffeine. She brought the mug up, ready to take a sip, when suddenly her cousin barreled into the kitchen, grabbing each of Lexa’s shoulders and shook her violently, spilling slightly hot coffee all over her and the table in the process.  
   
“Lexi!!!!!” She screamed. Lexa wanted to shoot herself right then and there and accept sweet death.   
   
“What’s up squirt?”  
   
“Sweetheart,” Aunt Adriana chimed in, “You’re making a mess.”  
   
“Sorry Ma.” Anya said. She walked over to her kitchen sink, grabbed a towel and tossed it to her little cousin. “So, squirt. What are you trying to do today?”  
   
“Actually, I think I’m just going to relax around here today. I’m exhausted.”  
   
“What are you exhausted from? You slept for almost eighteen hours last night! Is it more of that jetlagged nonsense?”  
   
“Jet-lag is not nonsense, it’s a real thing. I’m still on California time. I just need a day to readjust.”  
   
“You want to know how to readjust? You get up, you go out and do something. Leave the house, interact with people. And let me tell you something, you will find yourself among a higher class of people in this city than you would have had you stayed in Hollywood with all those hipsters walking around.”  
   
“I like Los Angeles just fine.” Lexa didn’t know why she even bothered saying anything at all. She already knew she wasn’t going to listen to a word she said. It was easier to just let her talk.  
   
“You’ve been out there too long. It’s time you moved back. Get a better job out here and a nice apartment to have to yourself. You’re almost thirty, you should be living in a house not an apartment. And I don’t know how you don’t go crazy living with five roommates. How do you get any privacy?”  
   
“Oh marone! Five roommates?” Adriana asked dumbfounded.  
   
Lexa felt the need to correct them. “I only have three roommates.”   
   
“Since when?”  
   
“Since always.” she replied. “It’s only ever been Me, Raven, Octavia & Harper. Everybody else lives across the hall.”  
   
“What about that chick you used to date? Clarke. I thought she lived with you guys too.” Anya chimed in. Lexa’s eyes grew wider than she knew they could get. She stared daggers at her older cousin from across the room and tried to subtly shake her head to get her to stop talking, but it went lost on the woman.    
   
Ava set down her coffee and stared at her only daughter. “Chick? What chick? You dated one of your roommates? Who is this Clarke? Is she Italian?”  
   
“She doesn’t sound Italian.” Adriana piped in between sips.  
   
Anya, oblivious to the fact that she was digging her cousin into a deeper and deeper hole, felt the need to add to the conversation. “She’s definitely not Italian but she was very pretty. And of course, Lexi here had to screw it up.”  
   
Ava’s lips pursed sternly. “Why can’t you find some nice Italian girl to settle down with?”  
   
Lexa was exasperated. She threw her body and head back on the chair and ran her face over her hands and through her hair. “Here we go.” she muttered to herself. 

* * *

Unlocking the hotel door, Clarke swiftly entered her hotel room and threw her shopping bags and purse on the bed. She didn’t buy much for herself. The few bags she had contained Christmas gifts for Octavia, Bellamy & the other guys that made up the makeshift loft family she happened to find herself a part of. Lincoln, Jasper & Monty were simple enough to gift shop for. She bought Lincoln a new stopwatch since she was always timing his runs, a 420 calendar for Jasper where every month featured a different picture of a cannabis strain, and for Monty, a pair of headphones that made his ears look like Spock. She figured they’d all get a kick out of those. She had already bought Raven’s gift back in LA; a new set of tools with a custom toolbox that had her name airbrushed on it. And for Harper, she bought a gift certificate for a spa day. Shopping for Octavia was hard because she always had high expectations. Clarke figured a new pair of winter boots were a safe bet to give her best friend of nearly 20 years.  
   
Now she just had one more gift to get. ‘How do you shop for a gift to give your ex-girlfriend who is now just your friend?’ Clarke thought to herself. But thinking about, the term ‘ex-girlfriend’ didn’t seem  
appropriate to call Lexa. It seemed like they were more than merely exes. And since they were venturing on to the ‘just friends’ territory, finding a suitable gift was all the more crucial. Part of her wanted to just buy her another Tungsten Carbide bracelet like she did two years ago when she first asked her to be just friends, but a repeat gift was tacky. Besides, she still had that bracelet and wore it practically every day. Clarke pretended not to notice as Lexa tried to hide it under her sleeves, but there were times where she caught her slipping and it would slide out from under her cuffs.   
   
She tried not to read anything into it as it was just a bracelet given to one friend from another, but every time she saw that metallic glare shine just above the brunette’s hand, she couldn’t help the feeling of warmth that would course through her body from her thoughtfulness. What she needed to do was find a gift that held equal quality and meaning as that bracelet. That was going to take a few days to figure out.  
   
Before she knew it, all Clarke could think about was Lexa. Not only about a fitting gift for her, but everything. She wondered whether she was able to sleep last night or if she was tortured with restlessness as she had been. She hoped she wasn’t too miserable having to be around her mother, who, from her recounting of her childhood, seemed a bit overbearing. Now she found herself wondering what she was doing at that very moment. 

 

 

Lexa sat at the kitchen table with her head in her hands as she was forced to endure a full-blown lecture from her mother about dating an Italian girl. Only a small part of her was paying attention while the rest of her mind was focusing on two other matters. The first being the method of torture she was going to inflict on her cousin for inciting this reprimand before leaving her there, and the second was her praying to God and anyone who would listen to bring an end this by any means necessary. Lexa was so desperate, she was even hoping for another hurricane to strike.

* * *

  
Clarke had been sitting in the same spot on her hotel room bed for the last twenty minutes trying to work up the nerve to call Lexa and ask her to lunch. She found herself missing her and desiring her company. Sher problem was, she didn’t want to intrude on her vacation. After all, she was with her family.   
   
Over and over again, Clarke kept hearing her voice echo through her mind like a broken cassette tape …‘if you ever need anything, I’m just a phone call away.’ Surely, she meant if she were ever in a bind, but she was willing to believe that it also extended to the two of them hanging out if they were ever bored or in need of companionship.  
   
Clarke knew she was overthinking this and then some. Sher subconscious was just trying to stall herself out of fear of rejection. So, what if she says she can’t, she thought to herself, you can always just order room service and watch TV. She tried to make that seem less pathetic than it felt, but no such luck. Just call her Clarke…You guys are friends now…friends call each other and ask each other to lunch without feeling like seventh graders.  
   
It took a bit more of an internal struggle with herself before Clarke finally said, ‘to hell with it’ and pressed the call button next to Lexa’s name on her phone. With each ring, she got more and more nervous and she could not figure out why.

* * *

Hell was the only word befitting this precise moment. Lexa was currently in Hell. Before her stood her mother going on and on. What started as a speech about the cultural and familial obligation of dating a  
woman from an Italian-American family, had somehow taken a turn to the pros and cons of moving back to Long Island.   
   
Lexa didn’t know how much more of this she could take. There were many reasons she never visited her mother or asked her to visit her, and this was number one. Sher eyes scanned the kitchen, hoping to find something that would allow her to make a getaway. Sher best option was to somehow ‘accidentally’ cut herself so badly she would require stitches. The idea of spending the rest of the day in the Emergency room was strangely relaxing to her, which she found sad.  
   
Just then, her daydream was suddenly cut off by the beautiful sound of her ringing phone in the next room. She hastily excused herself, not even bothering to hide the joy in her voice. Lexa grabbed her cellphone off the coffee table and read the caller id, surprised to see Clarke’s name. Whatever the reason for her call, Lexa knew that she owed her…Big Time.  
   
She answered casually, not wanting Clarke to misinterpret her cheery tone for anything other than relief from escaping her mother. Clarke apologized if she was bothering her and decided to be straight forward and not beat around the bush. She told her that she had just gotten back from shopping all morning and extended to her an invitation to lunch in the city. Lexa more than graciously accepted. She told her of a restaurant she might like and they both agreed to meet there in an hour before hanging up. 

* * *

Clarke entered the restaurant at the address that Lexa had texted her earlier. It was a cozy little café that was busy, but not too packed. She looked around, scanning the faces of the occupants until she found her. Lexa was so fixated on her phone, that she hadn’t even noticed Clarke had arrived. No doubt she was shopping online for new workout attire. Clarke made her way over to her table by the window.   
   
Lexa looked up just in time to see the blonde approach and the instant their eyes met, her face was beaming. Lexa got up to greet her. They shared a short but sincere hug and when it ended, Lexa turned around to pull her chair out for her.  
   
“Thank you.” As she sat down, Clarke felt butterflies erupt into her stomach. It felt like first date jitters, which confused the hell out of her since this was nowhere near the idea of a date. They were just two friends, out to enjoy a friendly lunch and the pleasure of each other’s company. They were starting over. Before they could exchange any other words, the waitress walked up to their table and placed a menu in front of each of them. “Can I start you guy’s off with a drink?” She seemed friendly enough. Lexa motioned to Clarke silently telling her to order first.  
   
“I’ll have an iced tea, please.”  
   
“Make that two.” Lexa said from her side of the table. The waitress, whose name-tag read Quinn, smiled at both of them before heading back behind the counter to make their drinks.  
   
Lexa, making good on her promise to give their friendship a real shot, switched her phone to vibrate and set it face down at the end of the table. Out of sight, out of mind. “How’re your parents?” she asked. Clarke smiled at her. She was always really considerate.  
   
“They’re good. I’ll bet they’re nowhere near as crazy as your cousin though.” Clarke gave a sly smile.   
   
“Oh god. Don’t remind me. Every time we get together, it turns into a competition of who can drive the other crazy.”  
   
“No way!”  
   
“Yes way. It’s ridiculous.”  
   
“Who usually wins?”  
   
“That’s the saddest part…It’s always a tie.”  
   
Clarke threw her head back and let out a short laugh. Not long after, the waitress came to deliver their drinks and took their lunch order. They both ordered a turkey club sandwich with a side of fries and continued their friendly conversation. As the waitress delivered to them their meals, the two went back to talking and eating their meals.  
   
Over the next twenty minutes the two ate and exchanged friendly banter. With each funny comment and interesting discussion topic, they found themselves growing more and more comfortable in their zone of friendship. It was nice being in each other’s company in this capacity. Whenever they were with the rest of the group, it hard for them to get to know the other, but when it was just the two of them, they realized that they had a lot in common that they hadn’t fathomed before.  
   
“So,” Lexa began, “With your parents doing their own thing, what do you got planned for the day?”  
   
Clarke shrugged thinking about it. “Um…I don’t know. I was kind of thinking about maybe going to Central Park. I’ve never been there. It might be fun.” She tried to skate over the fact that she hadn’t been to one of New York’s biggest attractions by lowering her voice, knowing that she would make a big deal about it and possibly open herself up to ridicule, but she caught it.  
   
Lexa dropped the French fry she was getting ready to eat in a grand exaggeration to go along with the look of shock that took hold of her face. “Hold on. Back up. You’ve never been to Central Park?”  
   
“No, I haven’t.” Clarke said rolling her eyes at her amplified display of surprise.  
   
“How have you never been there? You’ve been to New York like 80 times.”  
   
“I know! It’s just that every time I came to New York it was for work, and after the meetings my work friends and I would go to a party or club to just get drunk and blow off some steam. It has always bothered me though, I have to admit. There are so many amazing things around this city, I would just love to see it all.”  
   
“Well, you’re here for nine more days. That’s plenty of time to see everything. I say you should go all out and do it.”  
   
Clarke agreed with her but was reluctant to tour the city during the holidays by herself. The thought of doing that as a solo mission was already making her feel lonely. “You think so?”  
   
“Hell yeah…In fact…How about I be your tour guide?”

 

Clarke thought she had read her mind. “Really?”  
   
“Absolutely.” Lexa said excitedly. It was a win-win the way she looked at it. She would get to spend more time with Clarke, which would help her show her serious effort in being a good friend, and she had an excuse to avoid her family.  
   
Clarke loved the idea but refused to let herself show it. She also felt guilty about taking up Lexa’s time during her vacation. “Wait…Are you sure? I don’t want to keep you from your family.”  
   
“Are you kidding? This would be saving me from my family. Besides, this is where I grew up. Who better to show you around?”  
   
Clarke allowed a huge, dimple-showing grin cross her lips. “Well then. I would love for you to be my tour guide.” She said sweetly while, internally, she was doing backflips.  
   
“Alright. First, we’re going to need a game plan.” Lexa looked around the table until she found a clean napkin. With perfect timing, their waitress was walking by. She asked her for a pen, which she had tucked away in the pocket of her apron and was happy to loan her. Taking the cap off of the pen, Lexa scribbled across the top of the napkin ‘NYC Tour’ and directly underneath it, wrote ‘Central Park’. “Okay,” she said looking back up at her, “where else did you want to go?”  
   
Clarke was filled with so much excitement that she was drawing a blank. “Umm…Times Square!” she quietly shouted.  
   
Lexa wrote that down as well, thinking of another special place to add to their growing list. “Okay….Empire State Building?” she asked her.  
   
“Definitely! And…The Statue of Liberty.”  
   
“Perfect. Anywhere else?” Clarke had another place in mind, but refrained from saying it, wondering to herself if it was a good idea. Lexa looked up at her and could tell she was holding something back “What?”  
   
She felt silly. “I have another place in mind, but I don’t know if it’s too much.”  
   
“C’mon, out with it.” Lexa insisted.  
   
Clarke met her eyes. “Coney Island?” She asked her nervously.  
   
With much eagerness and not an ounce of hesitation she said “Done!” and added it to the list. Just then, the waitress came by once again to check on the former couple.  
   
“Anything else I can get you?” She asked looking back and forth between the two. Clarke and Lexa looked at each other and shook their heads. They were so focused planning their excursion, they momentarily forgot where they were.   
   
“No, we’re okay.” Clarke said to her nicely. The waitress nodded her head and smiled back, reaching into the pocket of her apron once more. “Okay, well here’s your check. You can pay at the counter when you’re ready. Have a good day.” She placed the bill at the edge of the table equidistant from both Clarke and Lexa, then walked away. Before Clarke could reach around her water glass to grab the check, Lexa quickly snatched it off the table.

   
“Oh no Lexa, let me get that.” Clarke pleaded to her. She was already giving up her day to show her around the city, the least she could do was pay for the meal she had invited her to.  
   
Lexa got up to head to the front counter. “Not a chance.” she said smiling slyly at her. “Look over that bucket list and make sure there’s nowhere else you want to go.”  
   
As she walked away, Clarke couldn’t believe how contended she was in her ex’s presence. She bit the corner of her lower lip trying to suppress the childlike grin her body was desperate to release. For the first time in the longest time she felt like she was at the place she wanted to be with her. They could spend actual time with each other without worrying about any of the issues that normally accompany a romantic relationship.   
   
She was happy that they had this time together. There were sides to Lexa that only manifested when they were alone, sides she had missed. This trip could be a chance for her to see them again. With any luck, this could be the start to them rebuilding everything that was lost when they last broke up and grant them the opportunity to explore the idea of starting anew. Clarke would never admit this to anyone, not even herself, but on the rare occasions that she imagined the way she wanted her life to turn out, Lexa had always played a substantial role. She was the only one she ever saw herself ending up with and that scared her. Even more so after their latest breakup, when all trust with her was tarnished. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t get rid of the residual feelings that were still there, so she pushed them down. She was good at that.   
   
Clarke was so lost in thought, staring off into space, that she was startled when Lexa came up behind her. “You ready to go?” she asked her, not having noticed her jump at the sound of her voice.  
   
She took a second to let her mind readjust then answered. “Yeah” she said standing up. As she gathered her phone and purse off the table, Lexa grabbed her coat and scarf from across the back of her chair. She helped her put them on and led them out of the restaurant, holding the door open for her as they left.


	3. Walking In The Sun Or In The Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa go to Central Park

 

 

 

The second they stepped outside of the restaurant and back onto the bustling streets of New York City, they were instantly reacquainted with the cold air that had taken hold of the atmosphere. Strangely enough, neither of them needed long to adjust to the climate.   
   
After witnessing several citizens of the alleged ‘Greatest City in the World’ almost come to blows over hailed taxi cabs, Lexa had made the suggestion that they walk the six blocks to the park, and Clarke was overly eager to concur.   
   
They were around the corner from the park’s entrance, giving Lexa an amusing idea about how to introduce the woman walking alongside her to the enchanting scene that awaited her eyes for the very first time.  
   
She slowed her pace down until she came to a stop. Clarke, noticing the sudden lack of presence in the space next to her, grew concerned and turned around to face her. “What’s wrong?”  
   
Lexa’s face adapted a lemon-sucking grin as she shook her head. “You know…Clarke. I just…I don’t think you’re ready for this.” Clarke looked at her, confused. “I mean this is going to be…the most EPIC tour of all time. Can you handle that?” Lexa’s face was now completely beaming, and it dawned on the blonde what she was playing at.  
   
Clarke picked up on her demeanor and matched it with total enthusiasm. “Oh…I can handle it.” She retorted with that natural confidence she was known for.  
   
Lexa accepted her answer with a deep nod, preparing herself for what she was about to do next. “I’m glad you said so.” She straightened her posture, pretended to adjust an invisible tie on her collar and cleared her throat. “Hello. I’m Lexa and I will be your incredibly gorgeous tour guide throughout the great city of New York, also known as ‘The Big Apple’.” Clarke was loving every second of this and the smile on her face told her so. “I would like to inform you that neither I nor the city will be held liable for when your mind is inevitably blown. Now with that being said,” Lexa once again joined Clarke’s side, this time holding out her arm for her to grab hold of and allow her to lead the way, “let us begin. First stop, Central Park.”  
   
In that second, they rounded the corner and were suddenly gazing upon the entrance to the renowned park. The iron archway that announced its namesake was shining bright done up with Christmas lights in tradition with the festive holiday that was upon them. Clarke’s eyes grew wide while Lexa’s were locked solely on the blonde. By the expression on her face, it was as if she had discovered magic. Then again, spending Christmas in New York, anything was possible.  
   
“Wow.” She said in amazement for lack of a better word. She didn’t even notice that the traffic light had changed and that it was safe for them to cross the street until Lexa, still with her arm in her had started walking and got her attention back.  
   
Walking down the pathway, Clarke was in awe. Even with the very thin layer of snow that had silently touched down during the night, blanketed the fields and rested on the trees, it was still one of the most beautiful places she had ever seen. Her mind abruptly thought back to every film she could remember watching that featured even a second of the location she was now occupying. ‘Serendipity’, ‘When Harry Met Sally’, ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’, even ‘The Muppets Take Manhattan’.  
   
“Oh my god.” She was finally able to say. “All the movies I’ve seen, do not do it justice. This place is beautiful.”  
   
“Yeah it is.” Lexa then realized she was staring at her. She couldn’t help it. Seeing her smile that way had her in a trance. Maybe there was magic here. Lexa snapped herself out of her daze and returned to her tour guide duties. “First things first. It is an unofficial rule that the first time you visit Central Park, you need to kick things off with a ride on the carousel.”  
   
Clarke smiled at her. “Lead the way.”  
   
There seemed to be something very serene about the park. While everywhere else they had been in the city they would see people acting crazed and psychotic towards one another, that wasn’t the case here. The two exes walked along the pathway following the directional signs to the carousel and witnessed nothing but peace and calmness. It was as if the madness that the holidays brought were powerless upon crossing the threshold.   
   
Normally the line for the carousel was long enough to wrap around the attraction two times over, but with the air as cold as it was, they were lucky it was open at all. Thankfully, the line wasn’t that long, so their wait didn’t even last a full five minutes.  
   
As they stepped up onto the platform, Lexa turned to Clarke. “Alright…Pick your steed.”  
   
“Okay.” Clarke said walking through the various animals before she finally found one, she liked. It was a black horse with a red and blue saddle and a grey mane. Lexa helped her up onto the seat, and then got on the tiger that was next to her. Clarke smiled watching her as the brunette checked out how awesome the tiger looked, and she was hit with a wave of nostalgia. “Hey.” Clarke said to her, prompting Lexa to look over to her. “You remember the last time we were on one of these?”  
   
Lexa rolled her eyes thinking about her stupidity. “Oh god. Don’t remind me. Halloween…Over two years ago. I interrupted your date with Dax and was annoying the hell out of you.”  
   
Clarke chuckled. “Hehe…yup.”  
   
“I still think back to that day and cringe.” Lexa admitted.  
   
Clarke wanted to relieve her embarrassment. “You weren’t that bad.”  
   
“I was. But I appreciate you saying otherwise.”  
   
“Here.” Clarke was struck with a thought. “I have an idea.” She said shuffling through her winter coat looking for her phone.  
   
“What?” Lexa asked just as she found it and pulled it out.  
   
“How about we make a new Merry-Go-Round memory? A happy one.” Lexa thought it over internally and liked where she was going with the idea. Clarke hit the camera app on her phone and held it out ready to take a selfie, finding Lexa in the background with her screen. “Say cheese.” Together they smiled and posed for the camera. When the picture had snapped, the ride began to move and the music started to play. Clarke switched the camera to video mode and recorded most of the ride. She got footage of them both smiling and waving at the camera and Lexa acting foolish by pretending she was a jockey riding a real tiger. It made her laugh so hard the camera had begun to shake. She ended the video by blowing a kiss into the lens and getting one last shot of them waving goodbye yelling ‘Merry Christmas!’  
   
After the carousel ride ended, the next stop was the famous Central Park Zoo. Clarke couldn’t remember the last time that she had been to a zoo. She felt just like a kid again. They must have stopped at every animal exhibit. Lexa was in awe of the way she completely lit up at each stop. When they reached the penguins, she watched how they waddled and flopped all over the place and immediately became hysterical. She was helpless against herself.   
   
That amazing sound was music to Lexa’s ears. She hadn’t heard her genuine laugh in the longest time and she missed it dearly. Her eyes were glued to the blonde and every move she made. The dimples that formed on her cheeks when she flashed her full smile, the way her nose crinkled, and her head fell back, causing her shoulders to shake and her blonde curls to bounce.  
   
Next they came upon the polar bear habitat and saw one of the bears sprawled out on a large rock sleeping. Lexa turned to Clarke. “Look at that. The bear is lazier than Raven Reyes. That’s incredible.” Clarke started to chuckle at the joke. After her laughing fit at the penguins, her stomach muscles were aching so that was all she could muster.  Clarke was so amused that without thinking about it or realizing it, she started to lean her head into Lexa’s shoulder.  
   
Lexa turned her head towards her and her nose was less than a centimeter away from her hair. As she inhaled, she smelled that familiar heavenly scent and wanted so badly to wrap her arms around her and pull her close, but she had to remind herself that she couldn’t do that anymore. All those privileges had been revoked. Lexa closed her eyes and took a deep breath to allow her impulse to subside. She opened them just in time to notice that Clarke had begun to move on to the seals and follow close behind her.   
   
They spent the next few hours touring the rest of the park. Clarke found a photo opportunity at every stop. Lexa was more than happy to be her subject. She was the master at wacky poses and had even gotten her to join in on a few. People passing by would see them and either smile at their carefree nature or give them puzzled looks. Neither of them had noticed, however. They were enjoying themselves as they gave in to their inner child.  
   
After walking every square inch of the area, they used what was left of the sun as it was setting to guide their way out. There was a short lull in conversation and that’s when Lexa heard Clarke’s stomach let out a thundering growl. “Ugh!” she exclaimed loudly. “I’m starving!”  
   
“Me too. And I think I know just the place.”

* * *

**Angelo’s Pizzeria – Twenty Minutes Later**  
   
Lexa sat on her side of the table with her eyes focused intently on Clarke, patiently awaiting her reaction. She had been to Angelo’s Pizzeria a million times when she was growing up and insisted that it was a contributing factor to her obsession with pizza. As Clarke raised her first slice closer to her mouth, Lexa was on the edge of her seat. She took a bite, chewed it for a second, then closed her eyes and moaned in satisfaction.   
   
Clarke was in heaven. She had never been one of those girls that counted calories or watched what she ate, and this was why. She enjoyed eating whatever she wanted. And what she loved eating the most was pizza. It was by far her favorite and nothing she ever had could hold a candle to the slice she was currently enjoying.  
   
With a full mouth, she looked up at Lexa and said, “Oh my god!”  
   
“I told you.” she responded picking up a slice for herself and taking a bite.  
   
“You were right. This has got to be…the best pizza I ever had. And I’ve been to Italy.”  
   
“Well I think Angelo is an Italian immigrant…If that counts for anything.”  
   
“Mmhhm.” Clarke responded though she wasn’t really listening. Her mouth was still full.  
   
The two sat in silence for a long while, but it wasn’t that uncomfortable silence that felt awkward. They were simply enjoying a meal together. It was actually kind of nice.  
   
Clarke swallowed the last bite of her third slice and grabbed a napkin. “Okay.” She said, wiping her hands and mouth. “So…What’s on the agenda for tomorrow? What do we got?”  
   
Lexa washed down her food with a swig of soda before pulling out the bucket list napkin from earlier and set it on the table for the both of them to see. “Alright…I figure we can get kind of an early start so we can cross a bunch of places off the list. Umm…We can start with Times Square then check out Carnegie Hall, Statue of Liberty – “  
   
“Empire State Building.” Clarke interjected. She was excited to continue this amazing adventure she had embarked on with her. “We have to go there.”  
   
“Absolutely.”  
   
Both of their thoughts were interrupted when Clarke’s phone had started to ring. “I’m sorry.” She said to Lexa. She felt like she was being rude, but Lexa couldn’t care less.  
   
“Oh, it’s all good.”   
   
After a quick struggle of locating her phone and pulling it out of her jacket, Clarke checked the caller ID. “It’s an old friend of mine from college. We usually plan to see each other when I come to the city.” Lexa made a motion with her hand telling her she didn’t mind if she answered. She didn’t need to apologize, it’s not like they were on a date. “Hey Tris…Yeah, I’m in New York for the Holiday’s…Having pizza with a friend of mine,” As soon as that word left her lips, she looked up at Lexa and gave her the sweetest of smiles. “Why, what’s up?…Oh you know, I’m not really in the clubbin’ mood” Once again she glanced at  
Lexa. “…Nah, I just don’t feel like it, I’m sorry…Thanks for the invite though…Yeah, I’ll see you later…Okay, bye.”  
   
Clarke hung up the phone and set it on the table face down. “Sorry about that. She was inviting me to some club for this launch party. For what, I have no idea.”  
   
 “You didn’t say no because of me, right? Cause if you wanna go, you should…Don’t worry about me.”  
   
“Oh…No. That’s not it. I’m just… I’m over the whole partying every night, getting drunk, out ‘til 2 AM thing. It’s just not fun anymore. And besides, I’m having a really great time with you. This is the most fun I’ve had in so long.”   
   
Lexa smiled to herself briefly then looked back up at her. “Well I’m having a great time with you too.”  
   
Together, they held the connection their eyes shared as well as the smiles. To them, nobody else existed. Clarke felt her defenses weaken as she was overcome with the desire to reach over the table and kiss her ex. All her better judgement told her not to. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin the friendship they both worked so hard for and seemed to be going so well.  
   
Thankfully, Clarke’s phone started to ring again. With equal parts relief and annoyance, Clarke rolled her eyes and hastily grabbed her phone to answer, assuming it was Tris again. “Tris I’m serious, I’m not interested…Oh, hi mom” She gave Lexa a regretful look at her mistake. “…No I’m okay…I’m having dinner with a friend of mine…I had a really great day” Once again, she glanced in her ex’s direction and sent a loving smile along with it. “… Alright, I’ll be back soon…Okay, bye.”  
   
As she hung up and set her phone back down, let out a quick sigh. “Let’s get you back to your hotel.” Lexa said.   
   
Clarke nodded in agreement. “Alright.”  
   
Just as she did earlier that day at their lunch date, Lexa had helped Clarke with her coat and scarf and held the door open for her. Outside, Lexa left Clarke on the sidewalk as she stepped out off of the curb to hail a taxi, but there were none in sight.  
   
“It shouldn’t be too hard getting a cab.” Lexa said looking up and down the boulevard, searching for a yellow vehicle beneath the glow of the street lamps.  
   
“Well, you know, it’s not that cold out, and my hotel isn’t that far from here. You okay with walking?”  
   
“Yeah, that sounds good.” Lexa stepped back up onto the curb and joined Clarke on the sidewalk and they started making their way back to her hotel on foot. Out of a habit that they had developed over the past few hours, Clarke looped her arm through her while they strolled down the block. It never really registered in their minds, it was just something they did instinctively that was familiar.  
   
“Good because I also need to work off that pizza. I can’t believe I ate three slices.”  
   
“Me either. I didn’t know you could eat like that.”  
   
“Well…it was just so good.”

* * *

During their walk, the two were immersed in conversation that was nothing more than trivial chit chat. There were moments of laughter and that of nostalgia. The more they talked, the more they learned things about one another that they had never noticed before or had somehow forgotten along the way. Rounding the corner on 6th Avenue onto 50th Street, Clarke had noticed bright lights up ahead and became intrigued. The closer they got, the brighter the lights seemed to shine, and then finally they passed the last building and were met with a sight that caused Clarke’s jaw to drop.  
   
Clarke saw the seventy-five-foot-tall Christmas tree in the middle of Rockefeller Center all done up and decorated with lights and ornaments and grew speechless. Lexa looked over at her with astonishment all over her face. She had seen that look on her all day, but every time, was like the first.  
   
“Oh my god!! It’s gorgeous!!”  
   
They walked through the plaza a ways, turned the corner on 48th street and saw the ice rink, prompting the lightbulb in Lexa’s head to flash on. “Hey…Why don’t we go skating?” she said turning to face Clarke.  
   
Clarke looked over at her and replaced the excitement on her face with nervousness. “Umm…no that’s okay.” Her voice got a little higher and Lexa knew something was off.  
   
“Come on, why not? It’ll be fun.”  
   
“Well…Umm…I-I just…” She was stammering, unable to complete a full sentence. It was so out of character for her. That coupled with her obvious uneasiness, caused Lexa to become concerned.  
   
“Clarke, what’s wrong?” she asked her with the most sincere voice.  
   
Clarke couldn’t bring herself to look the brunette in the eyes, afraid that when she did, she wouldn’t be able to pretend everything was fine. “Nothing.”  
   
Lexa looked her dead in the eyes. “Clarke…I know you. What is it? You can tell me.” Clarke bit the corner of her bottom lip. Lexa’s gorgeous green eyes were Kryptonite against her emotional walls.  
   
It took her a second to grab the courage to tell her, before she just decided to throw caution to the wind. “I…I don’t know how to ice skate.”  
   
Lexa was somewhat shocked but understood her reluctance. “Really?” she asked, trying not to make it sound like a big deal.  
   
“Yeah…I’ve never been.” Her embarrassment was evident. Lexa found it kind of charming.  
   
“So, then I’ll teach you.” she offered.  
   
“Really?”  
   
“Of course I will.” she said removing her hand from her pocket and held it out for her to take. “Do you trust me?”

There’s that word again, Clarke thought; trust. Hearing Lexa say it the day before had her mind into a freefall contemplating how much she could trust her, if at all. But here and now, she didn’t even need to think it over. Something had changed.  
   
“Yes.” Clarke said without hesitating and put her hand in Lexa’s.  
   
“Then there’s nothing to be scared of.” she tightened her hold on her for reassurance and led her to the stand to rent a pair of skates.

* * *

Normally, Clarke was great at not letting her fear show, but at this moment, she wore it on her sleeve for all to see. Lexa was right by her side every step of the way. She rented the both of them a pair of skates in their respective sizes and helped Clarke put them on showing her how to tie them. Slowly and carefully, they made their way to the wall surrounding the rink. Lexa felt guilty that she was getting a kick out of watching the blonde attempt to walk in her skates. She had seen this woman practically run in six-inch stilettos and look completely graceful while doing so, yet this was a challenging feat for her.  
   
Lexa stepped out onto the ice, clearly having done this, many times before, and turned to face her at an arm’s length away. Standing at the rink opening, Clarke, overcome with nervousness, had stopped dead in her tracks, completely frozen. Lexa had never seen her like this. She didn’t think she was scared of anything. If there were ever a time to be patient and understanding, now was it.  
   
“Hey, look. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Lexa offered. The last thing she wanted was to ruin the great day they were having by pushing her too far.  
   
“No…no. I’m okay. I want to. I just…. Give me a minute.”  
   
“Alright. Just take your time. I’m right here.” It was like they were back on the plane. Clarke closed her eyes trying to go to her happy place and took quick deep breaths. Slowly, she was calming herself down. So much so that she decided to place one foot in the rink. Clarke lifted her right foot moving it forward until it was hovering over the ice. Little by little, she lowered it, getting closer to the slippery surface. Lexa just watched in fascination not saying a word. The blade on her skate was a few inches away from touching back down when suddenly…she pulled it back and set it right back down on the solid surface she was comfortable with.   
   
“What if I fall?” she asked innocently.  
   
“I’m not going to let you.” For Lexa, they weren’t just words, it was her pledge. She would never let anything happen to Clarke.   
   
“Are you sure?”   
   
Lexa slid herself closer to the blonde. “Clarke look at me…” Clarke looked up to meet her gaze. “I’m not going to let you fall.”  
   
Clarke could tell she was telling the truth. She always could read her, and what she was seeing written on her face and in her eyes, was that she would never let anything bad happen to her. Not again. She believed her. “Okay.” She said nodding. Lexa held both of her hands out in front of her. When Clarke grabbed on to them, all her fears and doubt had subsided. Without giving it a second thought, she placed her feet one by one onto the ice.  
   
Lexa skated backwards, pulling her along giving her a feel for the rink. “Okay, so lift your feet one by one and just let them glide.”  
   
“Okay.” Her voice was quavering, but she forced herself to give it a shot. Her entire life, Clarke tried to make a habit out of doing the things that scared her. It’s how she became the woman that she was. People always thought that her tough exterior was something she was born with, but it was something she had acquired. She would face her fear until she mastered it and she was no longer scared. This occasion was just like all the other ones, the only difference was that this time she wasn’t alone.  
   
One after the other she picked up her feet but wasn’t gliding just yet. It was more of an awkward shuffle. “Use your back foot to push off and let your front foot guide you.” Doing just as she was instructed, she gradually started to slide her feet across the ice as elegantly as her body could allow herself. “Just like that…there you go. You’re getting it. Clarke, you’re doing great.”   
   
Feeling her grip on her hands loosen up, she clutched tighter out of panic. “Wait! Don’t let go just yet!” she yelled.  
   
Lexa tried to hide her snicker, but it was refreshingly cute seeing her get unnerved. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”  
   
They continue to skate face to face for a little while longer to allow Clarke to get more acclimated and help her relax. Every few seconds, she would throw compliments and words of encouragement her way to loosen her up.  
   
“You think you’re ready for me to let go?” Lexa asked trying to gauge where the other girl was at.  
   
“Kind of, I guess. But not entirely.” Clarke was feeling good about her progress, but not nearly ready to venture out on her own just yet.  
   
“How about this…” Lexa began offering up possible solution. “We let go of one arm and I skate alongside of you?”  
   
Clarke contemplated the idea and didn’t totally hate it. “I can do that. But you’ll still be holding my hand though, right?”  
   
“I will.”  
   
Lexa waited for Clarke to be ready to let go of one of her arms. She was surprised that she didn’t take as long as she had expected. She felt her anxiety diminish as she took her place by her side, holding onto each other’s hand with their fingers interlaced, getting whatever contact they could through their winter gloves.  
   
“So, are you having fun?”  
   
“I am.”

“Good, I’m glad.”  
   
“So how did you learn to ice skate?” She asked trying to take her mind off of her fear of falling. She figured the less she thought about it, the less likely it would be to occur.  
   
“I’m not telling you.”  
   
“What? Why not?”  
   
“Because…it’s an embarrassing story.” That only made her more intrigued. It was unlike Lexa not to confide in her, and it wasn’t as if she hadn’t ever told her embarrassing stories of herself. Clarke still thought of her and laughed every time she saw a cat of any kind.  
   
“Oh, come on Lexa. Tell me…Please?” She decided to utilize her greatest weapon against the egotistical woman. No matter what the circumstances, she knew Lexa could never defend herself against her infamous pout.  
   
“Oh, please don’t do the pout. You know I’m powerless against that.” Lexa tried to look away, but it had been almost a long while since she had looked at her that way and after all this time, here it was. She couldn’t resist.  
   
Clarke knew it was a matter of time before she felt compelled to look back over at her. She figured she may as well lay it on thick and bat her eyelashes just to drive her nuts.  
   
It worked. “Fine.” Lexa said after ignoring her better judgement and turning her head to face back towards her. “When I was a kid my mom put me in figure skating lessons.”  

“No way!!” Somehow Clarke found herself surprised.  
   
“Yes way.” she said with a sullen tone, annoyed with herself for having given in to her manipulation.  
   
“Aww…poor little Lexa.” Clarke was enjoying this little taunting game she was playing with her, but more than that, she found this new piece of information she learned about her interesting. “So…How long did that last?”  
   
“Until I was thirteen.”  
   
“Why thirteen?”  
   
“That’s when I finally told her I was gay and had absolutely no desire to skate around in tights and a tutu.” Lexa had uttered that statement so nonchalantly, that Clarke couldn’t do anything to prevent the fit of hysterics that forced its way out of her. Lexa had known her long enough to anticipate her laughter and was certain that it would last for a few minutes longer, so all she could do was nod along.  
   
Something had come over Clarke. Her laugh had taken on the same form it had earlier that day at the zoo when she was watching the penguins. She momentarily forgot where she was and what she was doing, and allowed herself to let her body give in to the merriment she was undergoing. As it usually did during moments such as these, her head fell back, her shoulders along with it as they heaved up and down. But she let it fall too far, causing the rest of her body to follow suit. The skates felt like they were sliding out from underneath her. It all seemed to happen so fast yet so slow at the same time. Clarke felt like a character from Scooby-doo slipping in oil.  
   
Lexa saw her falling and just reacted. When she was in trouble, it was her second nature to come to her rescue. Swiftly, she tightened the grip she had on their already joined hands and pulled Clarke towards her, bringing her close. Her body slung into the brunette’s as Lexa used her free arm to catch her. Once their bodies were joined, Lexa stiffened her legs to brace their weight from the momentum and prevent them both from falling.  
   
After confirming their safety they stood there for a moment, hugging each other. Clarke opened her eyes and looked up at Lexa who did the same. Sharing a look of relief, they both start to laugh at the near miss. Clarke, having learned her lesson, laughed into her, putting her head into the crook of her neck. Instinctively, Lexa just held her tighter.  
   
Her nose became tickled with her scent forcing her reminiscence. They look up at one another noticing their faces are incredibly close. In that moment, neither of them were thinking with their minds, only their emotions. Slowly, they lean in, giving in to the craving their lips had for each other’s. Both of their hearts where racing, beating a mile a minute, but in complete unison with the other’s. Just as they are about to kiss, they were startled and interrupted by a voice sounding over the intercom.  
   
“Hey folks. Hope you guys have been having a great night, but unfortunately we have to call last skate. This is going to be the final song of the night, so spend it well.” The man in the booth had a fondness for being literal. For the last song of the night, he decided to play ‘Closing Time’ by the band Semisonic.   
   
Lexa looked down at Clarke once again. “I think that’s enough excitement for one night. You ready to get out of here?” Clarke nodded thinking the same.  
   
 “Yeah.”  
   
Still hand-in-hand, Lexa led them back to the rink wall opening where they first came out of. She helped her take off her skates and returned them to the counter as Clarke readied herself to go. They made their way to leave, when Clarke is reminded of something.  
   
“Hang on.” Clarke says to her, stopping them both in their tracks. She fishes around through her coat to find her phone. Once she sees it, Lexa too is reminded that they never got a picture of the two of them at this location. She walked back towards the blonde and posed by her side as she had all day. Clarke held the phone out ready to take a selfie.  
   
“Try to get the rink in the background.” Lexa suggested to her, but she was way ahead of her. Problem was she was having trouble getting the right shot.   
   
“I’m trying, but I can’t get the right angle.” Clarke said struggling. Not too far away, an older woman who had noticed what they were attempting to do and offered her services.  
   
“Would you like me to take it?” Clarke was grateful at her timing, mentally thanking whatever higher power there was for sending her to them.

 “Oh. Thank you so much.” She said to the woman as she handed her the phone, before turning back to Lexa getting ready to pose alongside her. As she situated herself next to her, Lexa threw her arm around her shoulders. Clarke decided to wrap her arms around her and hug her.  
   
The woman captured a few photos of the smiling couple. “You two make such a gorgeous couple.” She said with a smile when she handed the phone back. Both of them were taken aback at the sound of that word, couple.   
   
“Thank you.” Clarke hesitantly responded. They three of them all exchanged a round of ‘Merry Christmases’ as they all parted ways.

* * *

  
They had finally made it to Clarke’s hotel and said their goodbyes after having made plans to meet the next morning to continue their escapade. Once she saw that Clarke made it inside safely, Lexa flagged down a cab to take her back to her cousin’s house in Queens.  
   
Heading up to her room, Clarke was stuck in a trance. Her body was on auto-pilot as she stepped onto the elevator and pushed the button for the floor she was on. The only thing on her mind was how great her day had been spent with the only person she ever truly cared about and how much she had already started to miss her. Over and over again, her mind replayed the moment leading up to the kiss they almost shared. Leaning back on the elevator wall, she smiled to herself. It was days such as these that answered any questions about why she fell for Lexa in the first place. She was the most sweet, caring and considerate woman. Clarke felt herself blushing just thinking about her and excitedly anticipating their plans for tomorrow. It was then that she realized that all the residual feelings she had for her that she kept buried were breaking themselves out and making their way to the surface. Part of her wanted to ignore them for obvious reasons, but there was a voice in her head that caused her to question her impulse to do so.   
   
She’d been looking for something to tell her that she could trust Lexa, something that would allow her to get back to where she wanted to be with the brunette. Seeing her embrace their friendship the way she did today spoke volumes. Lexa was committed to making up for the way she hurt her and was more than willing to be patient in the meantime. For that, Clarke decided to let her feelings venture within her, for now. It seemed like a good way to gauge her affections towards her. Perhaps it would be easier to assess the prospect of ‘them’ while it was just the two of them away from the group.

* * *

The entire cab ride, Lexa sat quietly in the back seat mentally kicking herself as she thought about what almost happened earlier. All in all, she enjoyed the day they spent together and loved that Clarke seemed to have fun as well, but she came dangerously close to ruining all the progress they had made. Lexa made a vow to be nothing but a great friend to her; however, every opportunity that presented itself to do just that had been fueled by her unwavering feelings for the blonde. She started to think about what it would be like if she lost Clarke for good, using that as an incentive to stay the course. The rest of their time together on this trip, she would be nothing short of the perfect friend.


	4. It's A Picture Perfect Moment Captured

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa explore more of 'The Big Apple'

 

 

 

For the first time since arriving in New York, Clarke slept like a baby. The only interruption that came was the sound of the alarm clock on the nightstand ringing at 7:30 as she had set it the night before. In any other circumstance, she would have hit the snooze button several times or even thrown the clock clear across the room until it shattered into a thousand pieces and the noise ceased, but today was different.   
   
Instead of waking up irritated and exhausted, hating the world, she felt refreshed. She welcomed the day with excitement and was anxious for what it was sure to bring. She and Lexa had made plans to meet in front of her hotel at 9 am to get an early start and cross a lot of places off their list. The second the brunette dropped her off, it was all she could think about.   
   
Going through her normal morning routine, Clarke had a little more pep in her step. She had even found herself singing Ellie Goulding’s ‘Love Me like You Do’ in the shower at the top of her lungs. That was new behavior on her part. Chances were some of Octavia’s eccentric traits were rubbing off on her.  
   
It was 8:40 and Clarke had run into a dilemma that had the potential to ruin her day before it even started. Sprawled all across her bed was every single article of clothing she had packed for this trip. Looking at all the various tops, coats, pants and boots that were chaotically strewn about, she tried to piece together the perfect outfit. She needed something that would not only keep her warm during the hectic east coast winter, but would also allow her to showcase her figure in the subtlest of manners. It was important to her that she looked her best today, because during the course of her euphoria associated slumber, she had a dream that was far unlike any other she remembered having.   
   
They were completely alone. Not a single soul was in sight. The only lights shining other than the neighboring buildings were that of the Christmas lights hung just above the rink wall surrounding the entire ice. It was the most romantic setting she had ever seen. In the center of the arena they stood, as the snow softly fell above them,  lost in each other’s eyes, oblivious to all else. Clarke had her arms wrapped around Lexa’s neck while the brunette had her hands rested on her waist. Together they swayed side to side, gliding all over the ice. The blades from their skates allowed them the grace to dance in perfect unity. Lexa spun her around and pulled her in close, hugging her. Once again looking into those beautiful blue eyes, she leaned in and pressed her lips gently on hers. Feeling that connection for the first time in years, Clarke allowed herself to give in. That passion spread throughout them both. Lexa pulled away and cupped Clarke’s face in her palms. “I Love You Clarke.” Hearing her name escape the brunette’s lips, she smiled. “I Love you, Lexa.”  
   
Typically, upon waking up, any dreams she experienced throughout the night would fade away without leaving a trace, but today, the minute her eyes opened, and she shut off her alarm, Clarke could recount every second. With every blink her eyelids naturally executed, she would see glimpses dance across the brief darkness. Accompanying those momentary flashes were the emotions that went along with them. She could still feel Lexa’s lips touching hers and her hands caressing her cheeks. Her spine began to tingle at the mere thought of it. After contemplating it all morning, Clarke had made a decision right then and there. The fun she had been having with her this trip and the dream she had last night helped her realize that she missed Lexa more than she ever thought and she wanted to be with her. Today, she wanted to tell her just that.  
   
Part of her worried that maybe it was too soon. She had made a big deal about wanting to start completely over and allow them the opportunity to rebuild that trust that had been lost. She certainly didn’t plan on this happening. Perhaps, if you spend so much time ignoring your true feelings, eventually they’re going to come back with a vengeance. Clarke wanted to put it all out there and hope she felt the same, but the idea of that terrified her. Thinking back to a few years ago when the roles were reversed, she knew there was a strong possibility of rejection and she wasn’t sure she could survive that. Now she was at a loss. Wanting to play it safe, Clarke told herself to find a way to see where Lexa’s head was at before opening up to her. The last thing she wanted to do was put her heart in a position to be broken by the one and only person who had the power to break it.  
   
Clarke hadn’t realized how long she had been taking to pick an outfit until she looked back at the clock and it said 8:56. There was no way she would find an outfit she absolutely loved if she hadn’t done so by now. Scanning the top of the hotel room bed she grabbed a top she liked best and the pants that would match it well enough. Clarke predicted a lot of walking around throughout the day, so she opted for the 3-inch black stiletto boots in lieu of the 6-inched ones. She checked her hair and makeup one last time in the bathroom mirror, then hastily grabbed her pea coat, scarf and gloves and ran out the door towards the elevator.

* * *

  
**Downstairs**  
   
Lexa took a long swig of her mildly hot coffee gladly running the risk of burning her tongue, hoping to feel the effects of the caffeine take root in record time. In a twisted turn of events that were lost on her, the night hadn’t been as restful for her as it had for the beautiful blonde she was waiting on. Staring at the ceiling from her spot on her cousin’s couch, Lexa spent all night thinking about how foolish she had been and how she was on the verge of ruining a great thing. She told herself to be more cautious from here on out. Being friends with Clarke meant the world to her. She wasn’t going to get in her own way this time.   
   
Taking another big sip of her coffee, Lexa realized she was anxious to see her. Aside from the way last night had ended, she was truly enjoying this trip. Normally, she loathed her returns to her hometown and found any excuses not to go, but this time around she forgot all about that.   
   
Lexa checked her watch reading 9:07 and smiled to herself. Over the years, she had come to expect Clarke to be fashionably late no matter where she was headed. Suddenly, compelled by some unknown reason, Lexa looked back toward the doors of the hotel just as Clarke emerged from them looking as beautiful as ever. At that precise moment, there was a small break in the clouds allowing a sliver of the sun’s rays to peek through them, between the tall buildings and land like a spotlight on the gorgeous woman before her. The light hit her at just the right angle to illuminate her blue eyes and shine on her blonde hair like a halo. Clarke looked as radiant as ever causing Lexa to stare at her in absolute fascination, convinced that what she believed the first time she met her was true. She was an angel sent down from heaven and placed into her life to change it for the better.  
   
The second Clarke saw Lexa, she felt her heart literally skip a beat. Her stomach fluttered and she momentarily lost her breath. Suddenly, being in Lexa’s presence blurred the line of her dream from the night before and the reality of this moment. Everything her mind experienced last night seemed like it really happened. It took everything she had not to walk straight up to her and kiss her right there on the spot.  
   
“Good morning Clarke.” Lexa looked at her and smiled. Her entire life, everyone she’s met, Clarke has heard her name fall from the mouths of many people, but coming from Lexa’s lips, spoken in her voice; it sent a wave of euphoria through her like the most powerful narcotic.  
   
“Hey, sorry I’m late.”  
   
“Oh, no worries.” Lexa said shrugging it off. She could wait on her forever and not mind it a bit. As a form of reflex, Clarke leaned in for a hug. It only lasted a second, but it was enough for her for the time being.   
   
She broke their embrace and took a step back. Doing so, Lexa held out a coffee cup with her name written on it in sharpie. “Mocha double latte with extra foam.”  
   
“Thank you.” Clarke said grabbing it from her. The drink was still incredibly hot and warmed her hands. As she took a careful sip to gauge the temperature and warm her stomach, Lexa then held out a white paper bag.  
   
“And a blueberry bagel with light cream cheese.”  
   
Clarke was beyond flattered at her thoughtfulness. “You remembered?”  
   
“Always. You ready for today?”  
   
“Sure am. Where to first?”  
   
“Times Square.”  
   
”Let’s do it.” As she had predicted earlier, they had decided to walk the few blocks it took to get to Times Square. The holiday craziness was still in full swing. Walking seemed safer and quicker than hailing a cab.

* * *

Clarke stood at the busy intersection at seventh and W. 44th, completely still, watching the world pass her by. All around her the city’s inhabitants shuffled with a collective excitement. She could smell grilled hot dogs, soft pretzels and roasted peanuts waft through the air from the street vendors all around. Her ears were inundated with the noises of everyday life. Car horns honked at careless pedestrians who screamed back as they zig-zagged between a fleet of yellow cabs, making their way across to the safe haven of sidewalk a few feet away.  
   
“You know the billboards look even better at night.” Lexa told her as she watched her take it all in. “Everything’s all lit up and bright. It’s really amazing.”  
   
“We can see it tomorrow right? My parents want me to meet them here for that holiday festival.”  
   
“Thus ending our sightseeing excursion of this great city.” Clarke detected a bit of disappointment in her tone. She wasn’t thrilled that their time together on this trip would be over after tomorrow, and sensing that Lexa felt the same brought her that much more courage to go through with opening up to her.  
   
Knowing that she definitely wanted to remember this day by taking as many photos as possible, Lexa asked her to make a quick stop before gallivanting all around the area. She took her to a convenience store gift shop that many tourists frequent to buy novelty key chains and ‘I love New York’ t-shirts to take back home with them. What she decided to get was far less idiotic.   
   
Thinking back to the previous nights failed attempt at capturing a decent photo of the two of them at the ice rink on their own, Lexa thought it would be a wise investment to buy them a selfie stick. After about fifteen minutes of maneuvering through dozens of other customers and waiting in a long line, Lexa met Clarke outside the store and showed her the surprise purchase she was sure she’d love. And she did. Once they attached her phone to the holster on the end, the first thing she did was raise it as high as her arms would allow and snapped a photo of the two of them while pedestrians walked all around them.  
   
Continuing with their newly formed tradition from the last few days, Clarke and Lexa adventured all about the famous area, finding a photo opportunity every few feet. Most of them were traditional tourist pictures posing in front of signs and known buildings. Others, of course, were the two acting goofy trying to get the other to laugh.  
   
Their first official stop was Madame Tussauds Wax Museum. Even during the daytime, the giant neon sign being held up by the large hands just above the doors had beckoned them to it. Once inside, Lexa bought each of them VIP tickets, allowing them to forgo the long lines. As much fun as she was having, Clarke had pointed out how freakishly realistic some of them looked. Part of her was expecting just one of the statues to move and scream boo. Thankfully, however, none of them did.  
   
When they came upon the statue of Bruce Willis as John McClane in Die Hard, Lexa went nuts. It was one of her favorite movies and given that it was set during Christmas, it seemed fitting that she take as many pictures as possible. Like a kid seeing Santa for the first time, Lexa could hardly contain her enthusiasm. Clarke just stood there watching her with the most loving smile. Seeing Lexa this happy, all she could think about was how adorable she was. She was so mesmerized by the brunette, she almost forgot to take the picture. After every snap of a photo, Lexa would switch to a different pose, of which she had many.   
   
Finally, it dawned on her that they had been there for several minutes. “Sorry about that, I got kind of carried away.” Lexa said, the smile on her face even bigger than before. Clarke couldn’t care less. “Let’s keep going.”  
   
They spent another hour looking at all the celebrity wax clones, admiring the detail and precision it took to make them look as realistic as they had appeared. With every statue they saw, Clarke and Lexa would both take a photo in a stance that seemed uniquely fitting to each one of them.  
   
Their next destination didn’t take them far as it was literally right next door. Ripley’s Believe it or Not! Odditorium. Most of the exhibits they passed were creepy and peculiar. From the shrunken heads to the two headed sheep, there were plenty of ways to scare the hell out of Clarke and Lexa took full advantage of each one. She would come up behind her and grab her yelling ‘boo’ or reach around her and tickle her ear sending chills up her spine. At first, Clarke would scream and jump, then she would laugh and even playfully hit Lexa for spooking her. With every slap on the arm she was silently telling the brunette she was having a good time.

* * *

  
**Two hours later**  
   
Clarke looked up and down the street, scanning every sign trying to make sure there wasn’t a place they had missed. Looking all around her and recounting everything they had done so far, she was certain they had been to each and every attraction that piqued their interest. Lexa walked up behind her distracted by her phone. She hit the send button on a text she was replying to from her cousin telling her that she would be back later that night and shoved it back into her pocket.  
   
“Okay,” Clarke began scanning the street one final time for good measure. “I think we hit everything. Empire State Building’s next right?”  
   
“Actually, there’s one last thing I want to show you.”

 

 

 

**Ten Minutes Later**  
   
“What is this?” Clarke asked. Before her stood a section of wall that above read in pink neon ‘Hopes & Dreams’. Underneath was a collection of post-it notes in various colors pinned and tacked to it.  
   
“It’s called the ‘Wishing Wall’.” Lexa told her. “Basically, people come here, write something they wish for the new year and put it up on the wall. Then on New Year’s Eve, after the countdown and the ball drop, they use these as confetti and shoot it out over everyone in Times Square at midnight.”  
   
“That sounds amazing.” Clarke’s eyes tried to read some of the wishes, most of which seemed pretty normal. People wished to lose weight, travel more, or find someone to love them. They were things everybody thought about daily.  
   
Lexa grabbed them each a pen and paper from a stand nearby. She handed one to Clarke. “Here.” she said. “How about we both put one up?”  
   
Clarke was hesitant. She had no idea what she should wish for. Her life at the present moment wasn’t glamorous and exciting, but it wasn’t horrible. She had a career that was pretty successful and left her somewhat fulfilled. She had her dream apartment, she a wonderful group of friends that would all go to the ends of the earth for one another. She was healthy and happy. There wasn’t much to complain about. She looked over to Lexa who seemed to be struggling to find a wish as well. That’s when inspiration hit her. If there was one thing in her current life that she wanted to change more than anything, it was her relationship with the woman standing beside her. Roaming around the neighborhood for the better half of the morning had temporarily distracted her from what she set out that morning to do. Clarke wondered if now was a good time to bring up the subject of them, but when she opened her mouth, all that escaped was silence.  
   
Lexa hadn’t noticed that there was something on Clarke’s mind as she was too preoccupied with her own thoughts. She had her wish in her head but was trying to decide a proper way to phrase it, knowing that everything she wanted to say would never fit onto that tiny sticky note. Side by side, they both stood there awkwardly trying to find the perfect thing to write. Simultaneously, they looked to each other, green eyes meeting blue, instantaneously igniting a spark in their heads. Both of them turned back to their papers and wrote down their wishes and signed their names. Hoping for the other not to see what they wrote, they each went to opposite ends of the wall to pin theirs up, then met right back where they had been standing.

 

“Ready to go?” Lexa asked turning towards Clarke. She nodded her head anxious to get out of there before Lexa tried to sneak a peek at what she wrote. They made their way back out onto the street and flagged down a cab to take them to the next destination on their list.  
   
“So…What’d you wish for?” Lexa asked trying to sound innocent. Clarke was a vault. Whenever she had a secret, she had the strong will necessary to take it with her to the grave.  
   
“Not gonna tell you Lexa.”  
   
“Please.” Lexa looked over at her. She was attempting to imitate the blonde’s infamous pout look that, when used on her, had the power to act as a truth serum, but it would take a hell of a lot more than that to get Clarke to divulge anything.  
   
“What makes you think that would work on me?”  
   
Lexa laughed and returned her face back to normal. “Figured I’d give it a shot.” They both laughed and enjoyed the rest of the cab ride taking them to the Empire State Building. 

* * *

**Empire State Building**  
   
As beautiful as the building looked from the outside, the interior of the lobby was absolutely breath taking. From wall to wall, everything was marble. It glistened from the lights. The murals that were etched into the walls and ceiling were magnificent. Clarke felt like she was in a dream.   
   
“This…is so beautiful.” She said to Lexa.  
   
She took Clarke by the hand and led her towards the elevators, taking them up to the Visitor’s Center on the second floor. When they reached the ticket counter, Lexa had already ordered them tickets ahead of time and presented her ID to claim them.  
   
“You got us tickets already?” Clarke asked only half shocked, part of her was used to her suave skills.  
   
“Of course.” Lexa said with a touch of pride. The man behind the counter gave them their multi-media handheld devices and informed them that it’ll be about a ten minute wait for the next tour to get started. It seemed reasonable enough, so the two got in line.   
   
“So how high up does this go?” Clarke asked trying to spark a conversation.  
   
“Well there’s the Main deck on the 86th floor, and then there’s the Top deck on the 102nd floor.”  
   
Imagining being that high up had Clarke’s stomach tying itself up in knots. “Wow….That’s pretty high up there.”  
   
Lexa heard the trepidation in her voice. “You going to be okay?”  
   
“Yeah. Just a little bit of nerves. I’m good.”  
   
“Hey, we don’t have to go up there if you don’t want to.”  
   
“No I want to go. I don’t want to let a small fear of heights prevent me from doing things like this. I’ll be okay.”  
   
“Alright.”  
   
“Actually. Since we’re waiting. I wanted to talk to you about something.”  
   
Lexa gave Clarke her full attention. “What’s on your mind?”  
   
“Well…Last night at the skating rink…we kind of….almost…”  
   
“Yeah I know. I wanted to apologize about that.”  
   
“Apologize?”  
   
“Yeah. I let myself get caught up in the moment and I wasn’t thinking. It won’t happen again, I promise. Look, you made it very clear that you just want to be friends and I get that, and I value that friendship so much so the last thing I want is to do anything to screw that up. The main reason I wanted to do this whole tour thing with you is because I wanted to show you that I can be your friend. Someone you can trust, that you can count on and turn to no matter what.”  
   
Clarke took a second to digest it all. She knew Lexa had been working overtime trying to prove they can make this whole friend thing work, but hearing her talk about it, made it seem as though that was as far as she was expecting to go. To be just friends and nothing more. Clarke realized that that was all her doing. She had been so adamant on needing her space from the brunette that she didn’t realize that she had been closing the door on them completely and Lexa had gotten the hint. “I’m seeing that. And for the record…You are a really great friend.” Clarke smiled at her. It was exactly what she needed to hear.  
   
Unfortunately, however, Clarke had now been discouraged from the idea of making an attempt to try and reconcile. She wasn’t sure it was a good plan anymore. Given everything that has happened with them, she thought bringing it up now would do nothing but cause confusion for her and she hated the idea of constantly going back and forth. - It had been a very informative tour. Through all the exhibits and presentations the two of them had learned so much about the history of the city’s famous landmark. But once the elevator doors opened and they stepped out onto the main deck on the 86th floor, they were looking out to a view unlike anything that either of them had ever seen before. Exiting the elevator and venturing out to the railing, Clarke and Lexa felt a subtle chill breeze blow by, causing them to tighten their coats.   
   
Being that high up, Clarke was emotionally torn as she was equal parts scared and amazed. She looked down gazing upon the entire city as it stretched out into the horizon and up into the sky. Buildings that had loomed above them on the street now looked like figurines as they stood in the distance.  
   
Lexa had directed them to one of the vintage viewfinders that was no longer being occupied and rushed to claim it before someone else beat her to it. As Clarke looked through it, she pointed out various parts of Manhattan that were visible as well as each of the bridges leading to the outer boroughs. She showed  
her all the places they had been so far and even showed her some places she used to go as a kid, providing a colorful story from the memories she held onto. She looked very carefully and through the buildings, she was able to see some of the lights from Times Square.   
   
The two of them walked all around the deck, recounting famous moments that had taken place where they were standing in the various movies that had immortalized the building. Lexa had even gone as far as standing up on a bench and reenacting the legendary scene from King Kong swatting down planes. Clarke laughed along with others who were passing by and pulled out her phone to get another funny video.   
   
Seeing her camera, Lexa jumped down and joined her back on the ground. “Shall we?” she said motioning to her to get a picture of the two of them with the city in the background. They got in their usual pose side by side, heads tilted resting on each other’s and snapped the photo. Clarke pulled the captured picture back up to see how well the background came out, but looking at it, the only thing her eyes could see was the smile on Lexa’s face.  
   
They walked around the entire deck one last time to get pictures of them with all of the views behind them. This time, Clarke noticed the numerous people surrounding them, taking in the sights as well. Maybe it was all in her head, but all around her, all she saw were couples, people in love who had each other during the holidays. People were holding hands, hugging each other, kissing one another and staring longingly into their lover’s eyes. Seeing all of them sharing in their affection was causing Clarke to be jealous, which in turn made her feel ridiculous feeling that way towards complete strangers. She told herself to let it go.

* * *

  
**Ferry to Statue of Liberty**  
   
Sticking with their plans, the next stop was the Statue of Liberty. They took a cab to Battery Park & boarded a Ferry to take them to the Island that held the Monument. During any other season, standing out on the top deck of the boat being sprayed by the sea breeze would have been appealing, but in December, it was completely ill-advised. Lexa and Clarke had managed to find two available seats inside. The waters in the Hudson were choppy given the winter tide, so the ferry ride would take a bit longer than usual, so in an effort to pass the time, Clarke suggested that they take a look at all the pictures they had taken so far.  
   
Starting at the very beginning, they scrolled through all the photos from Central Park, reliving their fun outing. Swiping through each one, Clarke stopped at a picture that Lexa took, catching her off guard.  
   
“Oh God...Look at my hair. I’m deleting this one.”  
   
Lexa liked that one, though. She took it while she was laughing at the penguins without a care in the world. She looked so beautiful and lighthearted, it was one of her favorite pictures of her.  “I don’t think so.” Lexa reached over to grab the phone out of her hand before she could delete it. Clarke pulled away, keeping it out of her grasp. As she stretched her arm over, her sleeve rolled up, exposing her wrist, and the shiny object that occupied it.  
   
“Hey, you’re still wearing that bracelet I got you.” She tried to sound surprised, but she had seen her wear it many times before.  
   
Lexa brought her arm back in front of herself and toyed with the bracelet, thinking back to the Christmas that Clarke had given it to her the year before they started dating, when they were fighting their feelings for each other. Things between them back then were kind of rocky, and her attitude sure didn’t help matters. She was happy that everything had worked out now. Having Clarke in her life was more than she could ever have hoped for. “Yep. I never take it off.”  
   
“Really?” This time, the shock in her tone was genuine. Clarke had seen her wear it on occasion, but to hear her say that she never took it off, was unexpected.  
   
“Of course not. It was a gift from you.” Clarke smiled to herself. It was just like her to say something like that. Lexa was always honest and up front with her about her feelings which made her wonder why she couldn’t be as open with her. Maybe if she had, things would be different, and she wouldn’t be sitting next to her right now secretly having feelings for her and not knowing how to tell her.

* * *

**At Statue of Liberty**  
   
Once the boat docked, and the passengers were given the all clear to disembark, the sun had decided to make an appearance for the second time that day. The rain and snow clouds shifted north bringing about a bit of warmth.   
   
Clarke walked the grounds in front of the monument staring up at the statue. This was the closest she had ever been. Lexa walked up behind her and upon feeling her presence, she smiled, wishing like hell she would wrap her arms around her and grip her tight, but no such luck.   
   
“I’ve got another surprise for you.” Lexa said, causing Clarke to turn back to face her. She pulled out two tickets with their names on them with two words written in large bold letters…’All Access’. Clarke looked at her coyly.   
   
“You got us tickets for this too?” She said not even knowing why she had to ask. It didn’t even shock her that she bought them.  
   
“Yeah, well, I wanted to make sure you get to see everything.”  
   
Clarke definitely got to see everything. The tickets that Lexa had bought for the two of them allowed them to go all the way up to the crown. The only downside was the fact that there were no elevators, so they had to climb nearly 300 feet to the top. For most of the climb, they tried to make it interesting, racing one another or making up games to play to take their minds off of how tiring it was. Clarke had started to regret wearing heels at all. Her feet became so sore, she thought they may fall off. Lexa being her usual chivalrous self, let her climb onto her back and piggy-back some of the way.  
   
Once they reached the crown level, all their aches and pains disappeared and were forgotten. Looking out the window, they saw another spectacular view that had them awestruck. The New York skyline was absolutely marvelous. Out on the water, they could see the next ferry filled with more visitors to the statue make its way to the island. The way the sun struck the buildings and its light glimmered off of them was a beautiful sight to see.   
   
Clarke was so astounded at everything she was looking at, she hadn’t realized that she wasn’t even scared at how high up they were. They took their time to appreciate the view, listen to the history and  
take all the pictures they could manage before finally deciding to make the trek back down. The trip back to the ground level was much easier but still tiresome. Before they boarded the ferry, Lexa dragged Clarke to the gift shop asking her to help buy little souvenir trinkets for the group back home. She helped Lexa pick out novelty lighters and key chains, secretly filming her as she roamed through the aisles picking up everything like a toddler in a toy store.   
   
That childlike demeanor only intensified when Lexa saw the foam crowns. She put one on her head and smiled, deciding right then and there to buy herself one. When Clarke turned her back to her, Lexa grabbed another crown and placed it on the blonde’s head as well. At first, she just stared at Lexa with a deadpanned look, but when she aimed the camera at them ready to take a selfie, she saw herself on the screen and doubled-over with laughter.   
   


* * *

The ferry back to Manhattan was less congested than the initial one they had taken. A lot of the passengers from behind decided to stay a little while longer and take some of the guided tours. Completely exhausted, Clarke sat quietly with her legs crossed leaned all the way back. Neither of them said a word since the boat began to move.  
   
Lexa was scrolling through her phone, reading the several text messages she received from both her mother and cousin, wondering where she kept disappearing to all day. She shook her head as she imagined her mother’s voice in that worrisome yet nagging tone she perfected in her youth.  
   
Clarke stared off into space. Despite the conversation she had with Lexa earlier, there was a big part of her that still wondered if she should tell Lexa how she felt. That would mean that she would have to figure out exactly what it was she was feeling towards her. Did she have a crush on her or was she in love with her? She knew she loved Lexa, that part was definite, but there was a distinct difference between loving somebody and being in love with them. She had been in love with her at one point, but what she was unsure of was whether or not she was now.  
   
All that contemplating gave her anxiety. Her thoughts were swirling throughout her head a mile a minute causing her to absentmindedly bite the corner of her lower lip and her leg to bounce uncontrollably. All that bouncing grabbed Lexa’s attention. She looked up from her phone and over at Clarke, immediately aware that something was up.  
   
“Hey. You alright?” Lexa asked her concerned. “You seem kind of apprehensive.”  
   
Clarke snapped out of her thoughts. “Yeah I’m fine.” She said trying to shake it off, but Lexa gave her a look that she knew better than that. “I guess I’m just a little sad that tomorrow is our last day of actual fun touring around the city. After my mother hand delivers her Christmas card to Matt Lauer at the festival tomorrow night, we’re heading to my aunt’s house in Jersey City to spend the rest of the holiday.”  
   
“Well…that’s why we’re going out with a bang. Tomorrow. Coney Island. All day.”  
   
Clarke smiled. “That sounds like the perfect way to end it.” They both let out a small chuckle. “Seriously, though, I’ve been having so much fun with you these last few days. More fun than I’ve had in a really long time, and I just don’t want to go back to the boringness back home. I’m either working, hanging at  
the bar with Octavia and everybody or relaxing at home. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life, but sometimes I wanna do something different.”   
   
“Well then, how about this? How about you and I make a pact to do something fun and adventurous every now and then? Once a month we’ll find something new and interesting, and we’ll just do it. No excuses.”  
   
Clarke was both shocked and excited. “That sounds amazing, but you really don’t have to. I know work keeps you super busy.”  
   
“Exactly. This trip has me dreading going home too. All I do is work. I never make time for anything else and I want to change that. And also…I’ve been having a really great time with you too, and I don’t want that to end just because our trip is over.”  
   
Clarke searched her gorgeous green eyes trying to see if everything she had said was true and she wasn’t holding anything back. Of course she wasn’t, she never kept anything from her. “Okay.” She said softly.  
   
Lexa held her hand out offering it to her to shake. “Do we have a deal?”  
   
Clarke smiled at her before giving her own hand in return. “Deal.” And it was made. They each had every intention of keeping the promise they had just made to each other. Each of them had different reasons for agreeing, but one thought they had in common was the idea of keeping their genuine friendship.


	5. Memories That We'll Have After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their last day together

 

 

 

 

It was their last day together in the city. The last day they had to spend with just the two of them, and they wanted to treasure every second of it. It had to be incredible. Unbeknownst to the other, each of them had their own reasons for wanting to make this day memorable. Knowing how down Clarke was about the fun half of this trip coming to a close, Lexa’s objective was to get her to smile and laugh as much as possible. She wanted this to be a memory the two could recall on as their friendship grew and remember it as a pivotal experience they shared.   
   
Clarke’s intention was just as simple but not one she would readily admit to. After today, she would have to spend the next six days without Lexa, spending the holidays with her large and intrusive family for the holiday. She loved her family as much as anyone, but she was not sure she could survive spending that long of time away from her. These last few days, as they were constantly together, she had somehow developed a craving for the brunette’s presence that was stronger than anything she had ever desired. They could sit together in complete silence for several hours and the second she was gone, she would instantly start to miss her. She thought this is what having an addiction must feel like.  
   
Clarke had never taken the subway before. It wasn’t as bad as she had been expecting it to be. Lexa, though, was shocked that she had even suggested it as the means of transportation for their day. Last night in her hotel room, while she was too wired to sleep, Clarke watched a documentary about tourists visiting the city and said she wanted the complete New York experience.  It mentioned every place they visited so far and even pointed out how despite popular movie lore, the subway is very safe, and it was the perfect place to encounter random street performers, and observe real New Yorkers in their element.  
   
It was nearing 10 am the day before Christmas Eve, and the entire subway was packed beyond belief. Undoubtedly of people rushing around trying to purchase last minute gifts and finishing up whatever work they may have to do before their holiday break. Whatever the reason, they all seemed to have the same idea of avoiding the streets for fear of irritating traffic and the less than typical cold weather.   
   
Clarke wasn’t one who enjoyed large crowds, but had no problem braving it for the day since it meant getting the full feel of the city. She looked all around the packed car, amazed at the collection of people surrounding her. Back and forth she swayed as the vehicle rolled along the tracks. Every once in a while, they would hit a bump causing her to lose her footing, and she would either stumble into Lexa, or one of the random strangers standing directly beside her. At first, she didn’t think standing the whole way wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but after the fourth round of ‘sorry’ she wished a seat would open up.   
   
Lexa offered up a solution to her conundrum. “Here.” she said softly. With her right arm, Lexa took hold of her, wrapping it around her waist and pulling her close. Using her other arm, she reached up and grabbed one of the railings to support their stance. Clarke realized what she was trying to accomplish, and surrendered her body onto hers, feeling a rush of warmth the second they touched. For lack of a better place to put them, her hands were pressed between their bodies, resting on either side of Lexa’s waist. Once again, the subway car hit a bump, and instead of stumbling into random people, Clarke was held steady, swaying only slightly.  
   
After her idea proved to be beneficial, it started to dawn on each of them just how awkward of a position they were in. To everyone around them, they were nothing more than a young couple holding each other sweetly, but if they knew the details of their history, they would agree that the situation had to be uncomfortable. Their faces were so close that they could feel each other’s breath. Clarke kept her head down to avoid making eye contact with her. She inhaled deeply trying to maintain control of her composure, but once she did, she wished she hadn’t. Catching a full whiff of Lexa’s cologne, her eyes closed as every memory she ever shared with her flashed through her head. It was the exact same cologne she had always worn. It was Lexa’s signature scent that served as a trigger for the blonde. Even through the gloves and her coat, Clarke’s hands could feel every inch of her skin, every contour of her muscles & the beating of her heart. She bet that her own was beating just as fast.  
   
Somehow, the memory of her scent had begun to fade from her mind, so like an addict Clarke took another sniff to get it back. This time, the only memory that came to her was one in particular. It was the night she ‘borrowed’ one of her shirts after their secret midnight trysts, during which Lexa had accidentally ripped the seam of her dress. At the time, Clarke was so overcome with lust that she couldn’t be mad. In fact, Lexa’s forcefulness turned her on all the more. When their fun was over, she snuck out of the loft as quietly as possible wearing one of her t-shirts that reeked of her cologne. When she got home, she tossed it into one of her dresser drawers making a mental note to give it back later. Over time, she had of course forgotten about it only to come across it, weeks after she ended their relationship.  Whenever she found herself thinking about her, Clarke would pull it out and smell it, remembering everything they had shared. To this day, she still had that shirt tucked away in her dresser, but the smell had since faded.

* * *

  
They had finally reached their stop at the Stillwell Avenue Station and exited the car to the platform, immediately feeling the cold sea air on their cheeks. Clarke looked out over the railing and saw the amusement park set against the backdrop of the Atlantic Ocean. She couldn’t wait to get down there. Lexa led her downstairs and across the street to the entrance.  
   
Arm in arm, the two walked around taking in liveliness of their surroundings. Clarke didn’t know what she wanted to do first. There were so many rides and games it made her overwhelmed with excitement.   
   
Walking past the shooting gallery, the attendant took notice of them and called to their attention. “Hey there pretty ladies. You look like a couple of femme fatales. Why don’t you show us what you can do?” He held out one of the rifles trying to entice them. Clarke looked over to Lexa who returned her gaze with a shrug.   
   
“Alright.” Clarke said walking up to the booth and grabbing the rifle.   
   
“Excellent!” he yelled as he handed it over and took the cash Lexa handed him. He flipped the switch bringing the targets to life. The machines kept them in constant motion, pushing them back and forth & spinning around on a giant turntable. “You get ten shots. Let’s see what ya’ got.”  
   
Clarke brought the rifle up to her shoulder letting it rest tilting her head to use the sights to aim. Lexa looked at her and thought how sexy she looked with a gun. One by one, she fired at the moving targets. She managed to take down a few, but for the most part she had missed.   
   
“You knocked down four.” The operator told her. “That’s not bad.” He glanced to Lexa’s direction. “Think you can show her how it’s done?” Clarke turned to look at her as well & a fun idea struck into her head.  
   
“Oh, there’s no way she can do any better than that.” She said goadingly hoping Lexa would play right into her plan. After hearing Clarke say that, she stared daggers at her playfully. She knew she was challenging her and decided to try to prove her wrong.  
   
Just as Clarke had hoped, she fell for it. She handed her the rifle and held her place right next to her. “You ready?” the guy behind the counter asked her, getting ready to flip the switch and start the game.  
   
Keeping her eyes locked at the targets in front of her, trying to maintain her focus, Lexa didn’t even look up. “Bring it.” she said. The operator turned the game on and once again, the targets danced and spun. Lexa was concentration hard and fired one shot after the other. Clarke, standing directly next to her, leaned into her ear and whispered, “Don’t miss.” Lexa tried to ignore her, knowing this was nothing more than an intimidation tactic. Since whispering to her didn’t work, Clarke chose to step it up a notch. She ran her fingers up and down her back, wanting her to jump. However, she was able to fight it.  
   
When her tenth shot rang out, the targets ceased their motion. “Nice!” said the operator, “You hit 7!” Lexa turned to Clarke with a devilish grin. She looked at her and rolled her eyes. Turning back to the operator.  
   
“I’m going again.” Clarke said sharply.   
   
“Looks like we got a little standoff here!”   
   
Lexa handed Clarke the gun again with the smile still plastered on her face. Gripping tightly, she brought the rifle back up to her shoulder and set the targets up in the sights. The game started to move again and she was determined. Lexa took a page right out of her playbook. Every time it looked like she was about to pull the trigger, she would playfully nudge the back of her leg, but not even that worked.  
   
“Nine! She hit nine out of ten!” The operator yelled to no one in particular. Clarke set the rifle down on the counter and threw her arms up in the air like she just won the World Series. Lexa couldn’t believe it. She just stood there flabbergasted with her eyes locked on the wall of targets, and she just had to laugh at that.  
   
“Who are you? Angelina Jolie from Mr. & Mrs. Smith?” she asked confused.

* * *

  
Continuing their stroll through the carnival games and rides, they were still laughing and arguing about their friendly competition. That’s when two kids no older than eight ran quickly past them screaming about wanting to ride on the bumper cars. Lexa and Clarke watched after them as they made a beeline to their destination.  
   
“Bumper cars sound fun.” Clarke said turning to Lexa. Lexa smiled back at her and held her arm out motioning towards the ride.   
   
“Lead the way.” Clarke returned her grin loving how cute the brunette could be.  
   
The line wait wasn’t that long and it also proved to be entertaining. They watched each of the groups before them take their sets driving around and ramming into each other, laughing as they did so. Every once in a while, someone would get hit unexpectedly and their car would spin out earning an uproar from those watching from their space in line. When the group before them were done, the attendant opened the gate and ushered Lexa & Clarke’s group through to claim their vehicles. They found two cars next to each other and hopped in before anyone else beat them to the punch. Lexa made sure Clarke was securely strapped in before putting on her own seatbelt. Once every one of the cars had been claimed, the attendant spoke over the P.A. system quickly running through the rules of safety. She reset the 10-minute timer and wished them a good time, then let them begin. 

   
It was pure chaos. All around them, people of all ages were crashing into each other and catching others off guard. Clarke drove her car through all the others trying to find Lexa and hit her with a sneak attack. Every time she got the best of her, Lexa would scream “Dammit!” in frustration. She tried to turn and chase after her, but there was something wrong with the vehicle she chose. The gas and brake pedals kept getting stuck and the steering wheel was impossible to control. Lexa was growing increasingly irritated allowing Clarke more than enough opportunities to mess with her.  
   
After a few minutes, Lexa started to get the hang of working with the car and set out to find Clarke and repay her for her treachery. She found the blonde across the way waiting for a small group of teens to move out of her way. That’s when she saw her, with a look of determination and an evil smirk, coming straight for her. Clarke tried to push past the teens, but they had her trapped. She smiled knowing how proud Lexa must have been feeling at that precise moment. She was bearing down on her. Clarke braced herself for the impact.   
   
Lexa was only a few feet away, ready to taste sweet victory when suddenly, she gets knocked off her course by one of the young kids that had ran past them earlier. It was so unexpected, and the force sent Lexa spinning out and crashed into the wall. Clarke let out a loud, bellowing laugh so big it brought tears to her eyes. The teens had since dispersed, freeing her from her confinement, so she made her way over to where Lexa had landed.   
   
“You okay?” she asked trying hard to sound genuine, but failing to do so as she was still chuckling. Lexa’s foot kept hitting the gas pedal, but she remained stationary. Her bumper car was completely totaled, and she didn’t even get to retaliate against Clarke.  
   
She was so angry at that kid for thwarting her attempt and wrecking her car, that she slammed both of her fists on the steering wheel several times. “Son of a bitch!!” she screamed. She looked up at Clarke shaking her head while she laughed on. “Seriously?!” she said angrily and folded her arms.

* * *

  
When their time was up, they made their way to the exit gate. Lexa felt beyond defeated and Clarke taunting her was not helping. She tried to suppress her smile and pretend to still be angry but watching her do her little victory dance and teasing her was adorable.   
   
As they were leaving, they heard the announcer over the loud speaker. “Hey folks. Just a friendly reminder that our next Sea Lion show will be starting in 30 minutes. Come check it out!”  
   
Lexa and Clarke looked at each other and communicated telepathically. They simultaneously nodded their heads and made their way towards the Aquarium.   
   
With a half hour to kill before the show got started, they decided to check out the other animals. Clarke nearly lost it when she saw the penguins. These ones weren’t as goofy as the ones at Central Park had  
been but she still thought they were funny. A few of them jumped into the water and swam around. Clarke was mesmerized by how beautiful they look gliding through the water like they were flying, completely elegant and graceful.  
   
They moved on to the Conservation Hall and walked through the tunnel that ran directly through the enormous tank which housed the largest collection of various fish they had ever seen. It was truly magnificent. Looking in all directions they spotted so many fish they didn’t even know existed. After spending some time looking at all the fish, they headed for the Aquatheater to finds seats to enjoy the show.  
 

* * *

   
   
The theater was packed with people, but fortunately enough, Lexa and Clarke had managed to find great seats with a perfect view of the show. The second they sat down, Clarke pulled out her phone and started taking pictures of the two of them. When the show finally got underway, she redirected her camera towards the Sea Lions and their trainers.   Watching the show transpire was amazing and fun. It was incredible what they could get the animals to do. Clarke got a lot of cute and funny videos and couldn’t wait to show Octavia when they got back home. She always had fun at these kinds of things.  
   
After the Sea Lions performed their last few tricks, their trainers got them to wave goodbye to the crowd wishing them a Merry Christmas’. 

 

 

 

Together they spent the next few hours playing every game they could, trying all the famous carnival foods and riding every ride that interested them. They were really going all out. Clarke wanted to get a picture of the two of them at the very top of the Ferris wheel and Lexa was more than happy to oblige.  
   
They waited in line for roughly ten minutes before they were ushered into a seat. One after the other, their capsule rose higher and higher while the rest of them got filled. They got to the very top and Clarke snapped a really great picture with her and Lexa, faces side by side, smiling with the view of the rest of Coney Island behind them. As she turned to put her phone back into her pocket, she looked down and suddenly realized just how high up they actually were.   
   
Clarke slammed herself back facing forward in her seat and closed her eyes. “Hey, Clarke…You okay?” Lexa asked concerned. She looked like she saw a ghost.  
   
“Yeah. I just didn’t know that this was as high up as we were going to be. From down there it doesn’t seem that high.”  
   
Lexa grabbed her hand and turned to face her. “Just breathe okay. Everything is going to fine I promise.” She knew she was right, but her body wouldn’t let itself rid her of the fear. Clarke nodded her head feverishly to let her know she understood but also to convince herself she was right.  
   
The Ferris wheel started moving again and Clarke’s stomach got that same sick feeling that she had on the plane. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!” she said panicked. Lexa let go of her hands and grabbed hold of her face, turning towards her quickly but gently.  
   
“Clarke, hey…Look at me.” Clarke reluctantly opened her eyes and stared straight into green. “That’s it, just keep your eyes on me. Only on me. Everything is fine.” Clarke did exactly as she was told and kept her eyes focused on Lexa and nothing else. And just like that, she got lost in them as she always had. The world continued on all around them, she was oblivious to it all. The Ferris wheel sped up and their capsule plunged down, but she had no idea.  
   
Slowly, the ride had come to a complete stop and the capsule they were on was pulled into the platform. “See that?” Lexa spoke bringing her out of her momentary hypnotism. “It’s over.”  
   
Lexa was speaking to her, but she couldn’t hear her words. All she could hear was the pounding of her heart as it sped up and fluttered. That warm sensation she got every time she was with the brunette spread throughout her body consumed her. She was hoping like hell that Lexa would kiss her, but after what almost happened the other night, she knew that was just wishful thinking on her part.   
   
Lexa got out first and turned back to help her up. They went down the stairs from the platform and were back on land. For that Clarke was grateful. “Hey,” she called to Lexa. “Thank you. For what you did back there…calming me down. It really helped.”  
   
Lexa smiled. “Anytime.” she said. “Do you want take a ride on the Carousel before we leave?”  
   
Clarke nodded her head. “Yeah.” They started walking towards the Merry-Go-Round with a little more eagerness in their stride. “I think carousel are becoming our thing.”

* * *

  
During their venture back to Manhattan, the Subway was just about as packed as it was earlier in the day, and once again, Lexa and Clarke were left standing.  
   
“So,” Lexa began. “Our tour of all things New York is officially over. Did you have a good time?”  
   
“I absolutely did. I’m glad I got to do this with you.”  
   
“I’m glad too. It was nice hanging out with you like this.”  
   
“You know…nobody has ever done anything like this for me. I am never going to forget this trip.”  
   
“I guess we’ll always have New York.” At that the two of them shared in a lighthearted chuckle. It was their last day together and they had succeeded in treasuring every moment and making it unforgettable. Each of them were content with that for now.  
   
The next few minutes were spent in a comfortable silence only to be interrupted by the craziest of all things.   
   
“Hey Lexa.” Clarke asked in a weird tone.  
   
“Yeah?”  
   
“Please tell me that’s _your_ hand on my ass.”  
   
Lexa gave her a puzzled look then pulled both her hands out of her pockets and showed them to her, shaking her head “No.”  
   
Both feeling creeped out, they look around behind her and find that the hand on her ass belonged to a seemingly homeless man. He looked back and forth between Clarke and Lexa and pulled his hand back. “Sorry…I thought that was my ass.” And with that, he shuffled through the crowded subway car in the opposite direction leaving the two of them speechless and disgusted.

* * *

**49th Street Subway Station**  
   
Walking up the stairs from the station back out onto the street, it was clear that the city had transformed during their absence. Roads were gated off by cops & officials in neon jackets, the streets were decorated and the sidewalks were packed beyond belief. The Holiday Festival was only two hours away from beginning, and Clarke’s parents were expecting her by then.  
   
“So, I got a text from my mom. She and my Step-dad want me to meet them in Planet Hollywood.” Clarke had to practically scream it into her ear. With everyone in New York packed together like sardines, it was hard to hear yourself think.  
   
Lexa looked around the area where they were standing to get her bearings. “Okay, I know just where that is.” she grabs ahold of Clarke’s hand and gripped it tightly. “Hold on to me.” she said to her. She nodded to let her know she understood and brace herself for what she could only describe as hell. Growing up near the city, Lexa knew just how crazy things could get in these situations. She also knew that it was every man for themselves, so if she wanted to survive, she had to be insistent and assertive. She wormed her way through the crowd creating a path for Clarke to follow. The closer they got to the main area of the festivities, the more difficult the task proved to be.   
   
Suddenly, there was a shift and the herd of people all moved at once. In the erupting chaos, Clarke and Lexa’s hands were forcefully pulled apart. Clarke became panicked, losing visual of her. Lexa instinctively reverted into her protective mode, pushing through the opposite direction of the general flow to find her.  
   
“Lexa!” she heard Clarke scream, loud enough to know that she was close.   
   
“Clarke!” she drove through a few more people until she saw that beautiful face riddled with fear. Heading straight for her, she reached out and grabbed her hand in her own.  
   
“I thought I lost you.” she let the relief escape into her tone.  
   
“Yeah. Me too. God this is crazy.”  
   
“Yeah it is. We still got about three blocks.” Lexa looked up the block trying to gauge how long it would take. Normally, they would only need five minutes to walk three blocks, but with all these people around, it might as well have been a hundred miles. Up the street at the next intersection and comes up with a plan. “Here…I have an idea.” Lexa said getting her full attention. She turned around and crouched forward to let Clarke climb onto her and piggy-back the rest of the way. “Hop on.”  
   
“You sure?” Clarke asked her. Lexa turned to look at her. 

 “Absolutely. I’m not losing you again.”  
   
“Okay.” Clarke hopped onto her back and wrapped her arms around her shoulders tightly. Lexa resumed her bodyguard mentality that proved useful back at JFK.   
   
As Clarke held on and enjoyed the ride, she again took a moment to breathe her in and remember the scent of her cologne. She knew there was a strong chance at it rubbing off onto her clothes and didn’t mind one bit. She also found herself noticing something else. Through her coat, she could feel the muscles she had felt on her earlier on the subway. These were different, though. What she felt earlier were the muscles on her chest and abs that she knew and loved…and even missed. Now, with her body pressed to her back, she seemed bigger. It was clear that she had increased her workout regimen exponentially so.   
   
Lexa reach the intersection she was aiming for and turned right. Before Clarke could ask where she was going, she offered her reassurance. “I know a way around where it won’t be so congested.” she told her.  
   
“I trust you.”  
   
Lexa cut through an alleyway and found that about fifty more people had the same idea she did. But fifty versus the hundreds of thousands she had just come from was definitely the lesser of two evils. They were right around the corner and Lexa hadn’t even broken a sweat yet. Clarke was more than impressed. Minutes later, they were two stores down from the restaurant and could see the sign up ahead.  
   
“They’re just right over there.” Clarke told her. Lexa stopped and let her off.  For a few seconds, they just stood there. The first awkward silence they’d had all week. “So, this is it then?” she asked.  
   
Lexa nodded uncomfortably. “I guess so. Until after the holidays.”  
   
“We’ll meet up at JFK. On the 30th?” Clarke already knew that was true. She just didn’t want to say goodbye to her just yet. Even if it was only going to be a few days.  
   
“Right.”  
   
“Hey. I um…I wanted to thank you. This has been the most amazing trip I have ever taken and spending time with you was incredible. There’s nobody I would have rather done that with. You really are one of my best friends Lexa.”  
   
“Yeah. I had fun too. And you are definitely one of my best friends as well…just don’t tell Lincoln.”  
   
“Got it. Don’t tell Octavia either.”  
   
That was all they had left to say. There was nothing else. So, with great reluctance to part ways, they each leaned in for a hug that was unlike any other hug they had shared in the recent years. Using both arms, they embraced bringing just a touch of strength into it. It was the kind of hug that made Clarke feel safe and warm. Something she had never felt in any of her other past relationships. It was her way of letting the brunette know that she cared about her more than anything. It had been a while since they hugged at all, making this one all the more special. Before letting go completely, Clarke gave her a soft and sweet kiss on the cheek, getting a smile in return.  
   
“Merry Christmas Lexa.”  
   
“Merry Christmas Clarke.”  
   
Lexa watched her turn around and head towards the restaurant, savoring the sight as long as she could before turning around herself and walking back around the corner to catch a cab back to Queens.


	6. With Everybody Here, Friends So Dear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa meet up with Linctavia at JFK and fly home together; And Clarke is welcomed home by a nice surprise.

 

 

**JFK – December 30th**    
   
Lexa had no idea how she had survived the last six days surrounded by her mother, aunt, cousin & various other relatives. Each day seemed to be longer than the last. She couldn’t wait to get back home. Sitting all alone at the near empty waiting area by the gate her flight boarded at, Lexa found himself feeling anxious. She couldn’t wait to see her again and ask her all about how she spent her holiday. She had once said that she couldn’t go three days without Clarke. After six days, she was going through some serious withdrawals.  
   
She pulled out her phone and swiped through the copies of the pictures Clarke had taken of them during their tour around the city. The day after they said their goodbye’s the blonde sent her an email with a folder attached that held duplicates of every single one they’d captured, recalling the memory it was associated with.  
   
Words couldn’t describe how gorgeous she thought Clarke’s smile was. Every time she came across a photo of her beaming her full teeth-showing grin, she had no control to stop himself from matching it. Scrolling through, one by one, Lexa found a picture that rendered every muscle in her body completely motionless. It was one of the photos she had taken of the both of them in Times Square. Lexa had held the camera at an upward angle, making sure to get the lit-up billboard in the background. They were smiling for the camera, but Lexa noticed she was the only one actually looking into the lens.   
   
Whereas Clarke’s eyes were locked onto hers. It reminded her of a photo they had once taken with their whole friend group on a road trip a few years ago. They took many stops along their 12-hour drive to Lake Tahoe. One stop in particular was at Yosemite National Park. None of them had ever been there before, so they decided to stop for a while and take in the sights. Before they left, they all took one last group photo to commemorate the adventure. As each of them beamed at the camera, Clarke had her eyes locked on Lexa, who had just rested her arm on her hip, giving her a slight playful squeeze. It was around that time that Clarke realized that she had a crush on Lexa, so she couldn’t stop herself from gazing at her fondly.  
   
Lexa didn’t notice the look until Lincoln had pointed it out in front of everyone. When she took a closer look, she too saw it and smiled to herself, but then she denied it to avoid embarrassing Clarke.   
   
In this picture, she was giving her that very same smile. She didn’t know what to think of it. Naturally, the first thing she felt was genuine jubilance. The first time, she convinced herself that her look was nothing more than the manifestation of a crush, but there was no way this time was a coincidence. There had to be some kind of meaning to this. Thousands of thoughts swirled through her mind all at once. Does she ask her what it means? What if it’s just a friendly, appreciative glance? What if she asks her about it and she denies it? Would she break off their friendship?   
   
Just thinking of that hypothetical situation, Lexa’s stomach went from butterflies happily fluttering to twisting and turning into the most intricate of knots. She couldn’t lose Clarke as a friend. Especially not after the amazing progress they had made in only a matter of two weeks. It doesn’t mean anything Lexa, she thought to herself, she has made it perfectly clear several times that she only wants to be friends & you’ve accepted that. You can’t ruin it now.   
   
She admired the picture for a few moments longer then continued on swiping through the rest. Giving her eyes a break from the screen, she looked up just as a small group of people rode up on the escalator. She didn’t want to strain herself searching their faces in the off-chance Clarke was among them, because if she was, she knew she would look desperate as hell. Casually, she glanced over and scanned the crowd.   
   
Once she saw the blonde, she quickly directed her gaze back down at her phone. Just knowing Clarke was near caused her heart to start beating faster and harder than it ever had before. Struggling to regain her self-control, she was forced to fight herself, trying to keep a smile from pressing through.   
   
Lexa’s ears were honed in on her footsteps. That sharp click-clacking of her heels somehow brought on so much comfort. Without seeing her, she was still entirely aware of every move the blonde made. Clarke was getting closer and it was getting more and more difficult for Lexa to pretend she hadn’t noticed. She brought the phone closer to her face to make it seem as though she was fixated on something else.  
   
Clarke made a beeline straight for the brunette, practically powerwalking faster than she ever had before. It had been the longest six days of her life, but she endured it all and was ready to claim her prize of Lexa’s company. “Hey.” Clarke said to her not bothering to hide the excitement in her voice.  
   
Lexa looked up and succeeded at acting as if she hadn’t noticed her arrive. “Hey.” Before she could even attempt to stand to greet her, Clarke had already taken the seat next to her, leaning over the armrest to hug her tight with enthusiasm.  
   
“How long have you been here?”  
   
“A little over an hour.”  
   
“Really? What, were you trying to beat the New Year’s rush or something?”  
   
“No. I was trying to keep my sanity. I had to get out of Queens as soon as possible. Any second longer & I would have committed myself into the psych ward.” her tone was lighthearted, but she was dead serious, her family could push her buttons.  
   
“Okay, I need to meet your mother one day. I think it might shed some light on _so_ many things.”  
   
“Trust me…that is never going to happen.”  
   
Clarke looked over at her playfully. “Oh, come on. What’s the worst that could happen? What, are you afraid she’ll embarrass you with humiliating stories from your childhood?” She was genuinely surprised she had never met Lexa’s mother after all these years.  
   
Lexa shook her head. “No…. well maybe, but that’s not it.”  
   
“So, what then?” She asked sincerely.  
   
“Truthfully…She’s very critical and judgmental and overbearing. She always has an opinion on every aspect of my life that she doesn’t approve of, which is pretty much everything.”

 

“Well she can’t be any worse than _my_ mom.”  
   
“How was your family Christmas celebration by the way?”  
   
Clarke rolled her eyes at the mention of her family. “Probably about as aggravating as yours seemed to be.”  
   
“Well, hey, at least it’s over. And we’re still standing.”  
   
“Amen!” Clarke said as they both laughed.  
   
Their shared chuckle died down allowing them to hear an announcement over the intercom of the airport. “Flight 268 from London has just arrived and will be disembarking at Gate J14!”  
   
“Isn’t that Octavia & Lincoln’s flight?” Lexa asked hearing something familiar about that flight number.  
   
“I think it is.” Clarke looked down at her watch. “We don’t board for another half hour, you want to go meet them?”  
   
Lexa nodded and stood up to grab both her and Clarke’s bags. “Yeah, let’s do it.”

* * *

Lexa and Clarke stood at the gate watching as several people walked out of the tunnel and reunited with their friends and loved ones. Finally, after what seemed like a hundred people left the plane, Clarke spotted Lincoln’s tall frame through the crowd, finding Octavia by his side.  
   
“Octavia!” She screamed raising her hand and waving it for Octavia to see over everyone. “Over here!” Octavia followed the sound of her best friend’s voice and weaved through the mass of people, pulling her boyfriend along behind her until she reached them. “We’re back, bitches!” She gave the both of them a hug, nearly choking each of them.  
   
“How was London?” Lexa asked once she let go and moved on to hug Lincoln  
   
Octavia’ smile only grew as she threw on a fake English accent. “Oh, I had a merry ol’ time in London! Lincoln’s family was so wonderful.” Lexa and Clarke share a look at how horribly she was butchering the manner in which the British speak. “We went to Buckingham Palace and saw Big Ben...It was truly a magical experience.”  
   
“Is this fake British accent an all-day thing? Or….” Lexa didn’t care if she sounded rude.  
   
Clarke agreed with her, though. “Yeah that’s gotta stop.”  
   
“She’s been doing that since we woke up this morning.” Lincoln told them, matching their monotonous tone.  
   
“You guys are not fun at all.” Together, the four of them walked back to their gate to wait for the flight back to LAX to board. As they sat down in the passenger waiting area, Octavia was so happy to see them for the first time in nearly two weeks and wanted to know everything about their holiday vacation.

 

“So, Clarke…how was New York? You have fun?”  
   
Clarke’s smile grew wider than she had ever seen it. “So much fun! I learned to ice skate, we went to Coney Island, Central Park, and the Statue of Liberty…”  
   
“Really?” Octavia asked shocked. “I thought your mom hated going to all those crowded places.”  
   
“Oh, I didn’t go with my mom…Lexa and I did all that stuff.”  
   
“Wait…what?” Octavia was taken aback. She knew that they would both be in New York, but she assumed that the two former lovers would spend their time there separately.  
   
“Yeah.” Clarke continued, not even noticing her friend’s confusion. She was too busy reliving all the glorious moments she had shared with her ex. “Well, we were having lunch one day & I told her how I never really experienced New York, so she took me on a tour and we did all kinds of fun stuff.”  
   
“Wow. It’s cool that guys spent a lot of time together.”  
   
As they told the couple all about their time together touring around the great city of New York, they both just watched on in amazement at the way Clarke and Lexa interacted with one another. It was almost as if they weren’t there. Lexa and Clarke replayed everything they did, sharing little laughs while doing so. Octavia didn’t know what to make of it. She knew their history better than anyone and had hoped they would find a way to move past it and be friends, but what she was watching unfold in front of her looked like they were getting ready to repeat the past.  
   
When the conversation slowly died down, Octavia stood up rather abruptly. “Hey, I’m gonna go to the gift shop and get one of those neck pillows for the flight & maybe some magazines to read. Clarke will you come with me?”  
   
“Yeah.” Clarke responded then turned to Lexa and Lincoln. “You okay to watch the bags for a while? Do you mind?”  
   
“Yeah, we’re fine. You guys go ahead.”  
   
Clarke stood up and turned to her one more time “Okay…Do you want me to grab you anything?” They shared a sweet and somewhat flirtatious smile that was not lost on Octavia.  
   
“No, I’m good.” Lexa said appreciatively. Octavia felt like they were in high school watching two kids with a crush on each other. At that, she got a little worried.

* * *

At the gift shop, Octavia was looking through a stand of assorted neck pillows varying in color, comfortability and other attributes, but the entire time, she was contemplating how to approach her best friend with a sensitive subject. She wanted to be subtle, but still gauge where her head was at.  
   
“So…You and Lexa seem to be getting along a lot better than you used to. Sounds like New York was really fun.”  
   
Clarke was perusing through a spinning rack of keychains, but once she heard Octavia mention Lexa and New York, her voice took on a dreamy and loving tone. “It really was.” She said without realizing what she sounded like.  
   
“It’s really nice to see the two of you actually being friends.”  
   
“Yeah. We talked about giving this friendship a real shot. I’ve missed hanging out with her. We’ve always had fun together.”  
   
“That’s good.” Octavia looked over at Clarke, who was still smiling as she thought about Lexa. She figured there was no indirect way to ask the next question, so she just went for it. “So, if this whole friendship things works out, do you think you guys will give the whole dating thing another shot?”  
   
Clarke’s head whipped around so fast, she almost got whiplash. “What?” she asked trying her best to contain herself. “Wh-why would you ask that?”  
   
“Just ‘cause…I’ve seen the way you two are around each other now compared to how you used to be, and it seems like there’s something that might be starting up again.”  
   
“The only thing that’s starting up is a new kind of friendship. I care about Lexa, but we are just friends now.”  
   
Octavia knew that wasn’t the whole story, but chose to let it go for the time being. She had known Clarke long enough to know that if she wasn’t ready to admit to anything, it was mainly because she wouldn’t admit it to herself. “Okay. If you say so. But, if you do start to feel that way about her again, just know that you can always talk to me about it. I’ve always thought you guys were good together.” Octavia grabbed one of the neck pillows off of the shelf and headed to the checkout counter to pay for it, leaving Clarke there to think about what she had said.  
   
With a million things running through her mind at once, she looked over and saw a postcard with a picture of a couple skating at the Rockefeller Center hand-in-hand. Clarke smiled at the memory, also remembering what else had happened on that ice rink. She knew her feelings for Lexa had come back, but she had decided that she would let it be for now and not say anything to her for a while. She had to stand by her decision.

* * *

**On the plane**  
   
At thirty thousand feet up in the air, Clarke was struggling to get comfortable. For some reason, the short conversation she had with Octavia was still weighing on her mind. It was causing her to second guess everything.  
   
Sitting next to her, Lexa was reading one of the magazines Octavia had purchased from the gift shop earlier. Every once in a while, she would read something that would make her smile or nod in agreement and Clarke would just watch her out of the corner of her eye, completely mesmerized. As she shifted in her seat for the millionth time, she breathed a heavy sigh of annoyance. Lexa looked over at her and knew exactly what was troubling her. She reached underneath her seat to her carry-on bag and pulled out a pillow she had stolen for her from the first-class lounge and handed it over to her.  
   
When she saw it, Clarke smiled at the sentiment. She was always so thoughtful. She graciously accepted the pillow threw it behind her head, suddenly finding contentment to fall asleep for a short while.  
   
After a few hours of pleasant and uninterrupted sleep, Clarke woke up just in time for Lexa to tell her they would be landing soon. She felt the plane slowly decrease in elevation, but the knotted uneasiness she had normally felt churn in her stomach wasn’t there. She closed her eyes and thought back to the ride on the Ferris wheel, and how Lexa had calmed her down enough to completely forget where she was.  
   
With her eyelids tightly shut, she was back on that Ferris wheel, her face in Lexa’s hands, lost in her gorgeous green eyes. Everything else seemed nonexistent. She was brought back to the reality when she felt the brunette’s hand clutch hers. She looked over at her.   
   
“Scared?” Lexa asked her sincerely.   
   
“Y-Yeah.” That was a lie. Her fear had completely disappeared, but that warm feeling that spread through her had been present the second their hands embraced. More than anything, Clarke wasn’t ready to break that connection just yet. So, she decided to pretend she was scared. Just for now.

* * *

**At LAX**  
   
After landing, it took the four of them about an hour to fight through the baggage claim area to locate all of their luggage. Lexa and Lincoln offered to carry most of the bags, but were not prepared for how heavy they would be.  
   
Walking past the exit towards the cab stand in the direction of long-term parking, Clarke made a joke to Lexa about there not being any limo’s to steal which caused the both of them to erupt into a fit of laughter. Octavia and Lincoln felt out of the loop at their little inside joke. “I can’t believe we have to come back here tomorrow to pick up Raven, Monty & Jasper.” She said somewhat irritated.   
   
Once they located Lexa’s car in the airport’s parking garage, they loaded up all their suitcases and piled in heading home. Pulling up to Clarke’s apartment, Lexa and Lincoln both got out to help her unload her bags and say goodbye until tomorrow. Octavia had pulled her aside to speak to Clarke privately for a minute, leaving Lexa the perfect opportunity to sneak her Christmas gift to Clarke into one of her bags. She thought it would be quick, but as she went to close the suitcase, she struggled a bit.  
   
Octavia noticed how long she was taking and yelled at her to put a pep in her step. Finally, Lexa was able to zip up the bag and pulled it and the rest out of the car, setting them down on the sidewalk. The two got ready to say their goodbyes to one another. As Octavia looked at the two of them, she caught on to the energy they were giving off and excused herself to allow them some privacy, signaling to Lincoln to get back in the car, hoping like hell one of them would admit their feelings towards the other.  
   
Clarke was the first to speak. “Listen, I just wanted to say thank you again for everything. I had a really great time with you, Lexa. I hope we can have another adventure like that again real soon.”   
   
“It was my pleasure, Clarke. I’m glad you had fun. And I fully intend on keeping our promise to doing something adventurous every now and then.”  
   
“Right. I’ll hold you to that.” They shared a caring smile for a few seconds before Clarke’s impulse took over and she pulled her in for a hug. This one was similar to the one they shared in Times Square on their last night together. Neither of them wanted to let go. Clarke moved her head slightly to speak into her ear. “You’re the best.” She said to her quietly.  
   
Lexa smiled at her voice in her ear and moved her head to do the same. “What are friends for?” she whispered to the blonde. At the mention of that word, Clarke’s face fell. The butterflies in her stomach went from fluttering a full speed to a quick and sudden halt. Now she knew what Lexa had gone through in the airport food court almost two weeks ago.  
   
As they pulled out of their embrace, Clarke put on a fake smile to save face. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” Lexa asked her hopefully.  
   
“Right.” Clarke tried to hide the disdain in her voice. “Yeah, tomorrow.” Lexa turned around and headed back to the car, hopping into the driver’s seat and pulling away from the curb. Once again, Clarke stood on the sidewalk, staring after the car that held the only girl she ever truly cared for, wishing for their current situation to be different.

* * *

**Two hours later**  
   
Clarke toweled off her wet hair after a much-needed hot shower. Traveling always left her feeling pretty icky and exhausted. She threw on her pajama pants, a soft tank top and tied her hair up into a messy bun. She figured now was a good a time as any to unpack her bags and wash all her clothes.  
   
Turning on the T.V. for background noise, Clarke tossed her suitcases onto her bed and unzipped the tab, flinging it open. The first thing her eyes saw was the perfectly wrapped gift box sitting atop all of her belongings. For a second, Clarke thought she had grabbed the wrong bag, but seeing all of her clothes and personal item underneath it put that thought to rest.   
   
She picked up the gift and savagely tore the wrapping off and threw it to the floor. What was left in her hands, was a grey Tiffany’s box around the size of her phone and a card along with it.   
   
 _Clarke, we’ll always have New York, and every memory we shared. -Lexa_  
   
Clarke smiled to herself. It was no wonder her feelings for Lexa never completely went away, she was so caring and thoughtful. Setting the card down carefully, she opened the box, immediately growing breathless as she saw what was inside.  
   
Resting in it was a Sterling silver charm bracelet. Each charm on it had been sensibly picked out to reflect a memory the two had shared during their citywide excursion throughout the Big Apple. There was an ice skate, a penguin, a camera, a snowflake, a tiny Statue of Liberty, a Ferris wheel and even a carousel.  She couldn’t contain her smile and truthfully, she didn’t want to. This was, without a doubt, the greatest Christmas gift anyone had ever gotten for her. She wanted to hop in her car, drive over to the loft and jump into Lexa’s arms, kissing her passionately. But she convinced herself not to, somehow. Instead, Clarke put the bracelet on her wrist and lied down on her bed staring at it and smiled. She closed her eyes to replay every moment they had spent together in New York, and before she knew it, she had dozed off, dreaming about the love of her life.


	7. Lift Up Your Hearts And Feel The Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the delinquents arrive back home and they celebrate the New Year at Bellamy and Lincoln's bar

 

 

Lexa's eyes jolted open as she awoke quickly and immediately rolled over towards her nightstand to check her phone. Wading through the dozens of emails that were, at this moment, irrelevant, she grew discouraged at the fact that there no missed calls or text messages. She told herself the night before to not get her hopes up. If Clarke liked the bracelet Lexa had gotten for her, she would let her know. But every second that passed that the brunette didn't get a phone call or text message was another moment she doubted herself. _What if she didn't like it?_ She thought to herself. _Or, what if she thought it meant something?_ Lexa had to ask herself if maybe it had meant something. It was a sweet and sentimental gift, but getting a person jewelry was always risky, and given their history, that risk was increased exponentially. Lexa brought her wrist up to examine it. Looking at the bracelet Clarke had gifted to her a few years ago, she remembered that they had been broken up then as well. Though their relationship was much more strained at the time, Lexa convinced herself that there was no difference between then and now, and chose to forget about it.

  
Several scenarios ran through her head about how and when Clarke would come across the box. She pictured the blonde’s face displaying a multitude of reactions. That's when another thought had occurred to her. It was possible that when Clarke got home, she went right to bed and hadn't even bothered to begin unpacking. Convincing herself that that was the reason for the radio silence on Clarke’s end, she allowed herself to breathe easier. What she needed to do now was find a distraction to prevent her from staring at her phone. Leaving it plugged into the charger on the nightstand, Lexa got up, collected her shower caddy and headed for the bathroom to take a really long shower.

* * *

  
With the sun shining through her windows curtains and landing on her face, Clarke stirred awake. The light pierced her eyelids forcing any further sleep to be impossible. Opening her eyes slowly, she saw her arm thrown haphazardly on her pillow next to her and clasped around it, the bracelet she had fallen asleep admiring. The sight of it instantly sent her face into the brightest of gleams. She sat up in her bed and turned to check the alarm clock. She had plenty of time before she had to meet Octavia & Lexa at the loft to pick up Raven, Jasper & Monty at the airport.

  
Clarke reached over and grabbed her phone. Scrolling through her contacts at warp speed, she found Lexa's name and pressed it. Then, she froze. Staring at that green call button, Clarke couldn't bring herself to press it. Wanting to, more than anything, just to hear Lexa’s groggy, early morning voice, she just could not move her thumb. _I can't thank her with a phone call_ , she thought to herself. For something this beautiful and thoughtful, she wanted to see her in person. She wanted to look into those vibrant green eyes and let her see just how much this meant to her.

  
As the thought of being in Lexa’s presence took hold in her mind, Clarke was hit with a sudden burst of energy. She was now fully awake and anxious as ever to get up and get ready for the day. Clarke threw her blankets off of her and jumped off the bed like she was a kid again on the first day of summer.

* * *

  
Clarke stepped off the elevator and strutted down the hallway as if it were a runway in Milan. The extra pep in her step this morning came from her impatient desire to properly thank a thoughtful friend for an  
extravagant gift. Approaching the door to the apartment, she was not the least bit surprised that it was unlocked. In her usual way, she knocked while simultaneously opening it and called out to the loft’s present occupants.

  
"Knock, knock!" She yelled peeking her head in first before allowing the rest of herself to follow suit. The emptiness made the apartment seem eerie. The rest of the group could not come back quickly enough. Clarke closed the door behind her and steeped further inside just in time to see Octavia come out of the kitchen.

  
"Hey, Clarke." She said with slight enthusiasm as if they hadn't just seen each other the day before.

  
"Hey. You guys ready to go?" Clarke quickly glanced down the hallway, then back towards the kitchen hoping to find Lexa.

  
Octavia didn't notice. "Yeah, I just need to put on my shoes and grab a jacket. I'll be right back." The shorter girl headed back towards her room, banging on Lexa bedroom door as she passed it. "LEXA! LET'S GO!"

  
As soon as Octavia disappeared into her room, the door across the hall opened and out came Lexa. Clarke didn't even bother trying to hide the smile on her face, especially since the brunette wasn't hiding hers. Walking with her usual stride just wasn't quick enough. Clarke practically ran to her, closing the distance between them in record time. "Hey…I thought I heard your voice. How are y-" Before Lexa could finish her sentence, Clarke had her arms wrapped tightly around her neck with her body pressed against hers in a bear hug. Lexa softly chuckled to herself as she hugged the blonde back. "I take it this means you got my gift."

  
Clarke released Lexa from her grip, leaving her hands on the brunette’s shoulders, not wanting to let go. "I did & I love it. Really, Lexa, it's the most amazing gift anyone has ever gotten me. Thank you."

  
Lexa smiled. "You're welcome. I'm really happy you like it." Clarke took her hands off of her to show that she was wearing it, debating whether or not to tell Lexa that she hadn't taken it off since finding it in her luggage the day before.

  
The two of them stood there, only a foot away from each other smiling through the silence. They were so lost in each other that neither of them noticed that Octavia had rejoined them. But Octavia _had_ noticed the way the two of them were looking at each other and became confused. 

  
"What's going on?" She asked them suspiciously.

  
Both Clarke & Lexa break their eye contact and take a step away from each other, turning to Octavia while doing so.

  
"Nothing." They said in unison, shaking their heads. Octavia wasn't convinced but decided to ignore it for now.

  
"Okay. You guys ready to go?"

  
"Yeah." Lexa said grabbing her jacket off the back of the couch. "I'll drive."

* * *

**LAX**

  
Despite the fact that they left early and accounted for possible traffic, Lexa, Octavia and Clarke arrived at Raven's gate with only five minutes to spare. They figured that the airport wouldn't be as packed and hectic as it was when they left, but they were only half right.

  
Raven was easy enough to spot through the small crowd of people getting off the plane. Her damn-near trademark red bomber jacket stuck out to them almost immediately. She was excited to see her three friends again, giving them an enthusiastic group hug that had temporarily cut off Octavia' air supply.

  
With two hours to kill before Jasper & Monty’s flight from Toronto arrived, they all went to the food court to grab lunch. They passed the time by sharing in each other's stories from the vacations they had just been on. Raven was more than happy to show off pictures of her adorable new baby cousin. All four of them were able to relate with one another when the topic of how crazy their families were and how many relatives they were surrounded by, came up.

  
Octavia told them all about her trip to London and meeting Lincoln's family for the first time. Lexa went on about her mother trying to convince her to move back to New York. Clarke recounted all of the familial traditions she was forced to endure with Marcus’ family. Each and every one of them, however, were so happy to be back home.  
 

* * *

**Two Hours Later**

  
The four of them waited patiently at the gate for the flight from Toronto. Out the window, they were mesmerized watching the plane pull up the building, and seeing others take off and land. As the passengers began spilling out of the tunnel, Octavia, Clarke, Raven and Lexa all strained their necks trying to see through everyone and find their two lovable idiots who hail from the charming Canadian city.

  
"There they are." Octavia said loudly, catching a glimpse of Jasper and Monty rounding the corner with their arms thrown around each other's shoulders. "Hey Guys!"

  
Hearing her voice, Jasper, like a gazelle, perked up and scanned the area finding his roommates standing off to the side, waving them over. "Monty look! It's Octavia and everybody! Hey Guys!" The second the first words escaped his lips, they all knew that he was under the influence of something. Sadly, they weren't even surprised.

  
Monty's eyes followed the direction Jasper pointed and spotted them too. "Heeeeyyyyy!"

  
Clarke leaned over towards Lexa & Raven's ears and asked them quietly, "Are they drunk or high?"

  
"High. Definitely high. I mean it’s Jasper and Monty we’re talking about here." Octavia said overhearing.

  
Raven nodded. " _So_ true."

  
"Typical." Lexa said rolling his eyes.

  
Jasper rushed over and threw himself into a hug with both Lexa and Raven. "Lexie! Ravie! We've missed ya!"

  
Raven could smell a mixture of candy and pot on Jasper's breath and almost caught a contact high right then. "So how high are you guys, exactly?" She asked as Jasper released them.

  
"Oh, I'm just lightly faded." Monty chimed in. That was believable.

  
"I'm flying about as high as you can get without being completely stoned. I'm like teetering the line right now." Jasper said.

  
Against her better judgement, Clarke felt the need to ask. "How and why are you high at an airport at 6 pm?"

  
"Uh, I'm pretty sure the how is self-explanatory, Clarke," Jasper began with a hint of irritated sarcasm in his voice. "And the why is because I baked some edible’s, I have a medical marijuana card and it's freaking New Year's Eve! So there!"

  
"Oh yeah," Raven said coming to that realization as well. "What's the game plan for that? Like, are we doing anything? What going on guys?"

  
"Well Bell and Lincoln are at the bar right now prepping things for the New Years Eve bash tonight.” Lexa began. “We could all go there tonight.”

  
"Okay," Octavia said. "We can do that. But let's go back to the loft first. We can exchange Christmas gifts."

  
"Do we have to?" Lexa asked her.

  
"Yes. I want us to celebrate Christmas together. We didn't get to see each other for two whole weeks. I missed you guys. We're a family, and families celebrate the holidays." Nobody wanted to argue with her. She had a point. They had become their own little makeshift family over the years. Octavia may have been the youngest, but she was by-far the fiercest and they knew well enough at this point not to argue when she had given a heartfelt speech about spending time together. So, with smiles on their faces, they all headed back to the car and headed home.

* * *

**The Loft**

  
The place was a mess. Littered all around them in the living room were the remnants of wrapping paper and tape that their gifts to each other had been enclosed in. Sitting in a circle around the coffee table, they all took turns opening presents addressed to them and holding them up for all to see. Everyone received gifts that catered specifically to them, unless they were given to them by Jasper, as he was well known among the loft as the 'Worst Gift Giver'.

  
Lincoln was excited to get a new pair of Beats headphones, a personalized gym bag, a top of the line Stopwatch, a Fitbit wristband and a few gift cards for the Nike outlet mall. All of the presents Jasper was given, were mostly Weed related and that didn't bother him a bit. He loved the 420 Calendar from Clarke, the phone case that had a pull-out compartment for storing joints, the ‘Happy’ kit & especially the toaster that browned a pot leaf onto each piece of bread.

  
To everyone's expectations, Monty was over-the-moon getting all geeky/techy items. Among his gifts were circuit board cufflinks, VR goggles and the latest build-it-yourself computer tower. He was so happy that while he was thanking everyone, he was practically near-tears.

  
One thing that surprised everyone, was Clarke's gift to Lexa. They all had gotten each other great gifts but what she had given him was somewhat extravagant. Opening the palm-sized box with her name on it, Lexa's eyes lit up when he saw the Michael Kors Silver-Tone Lexington wrist watch. She was at a loss for words. Seeing this, Clarke decided to offer up an explanation. "I remember you looking at it when we were window shopping in Times Square. After you dropped me off at the festival, I went back and bought it for you."

  
"Clarke. This watch is incredible. I can't believe you got this for me. Thank you so much." She didn't care if the rest of the loft thought it was weird, Lexa stood straight up and wrapped her arms around the blonde in the biggest hug. The two of them stood there, holding each other as the rest of the group watched them in an awkward silence, exchanging looks between each other. After their really long embrace had finally ended, Octavia tried to get the atmosphere back to normal by handing the next gift in line to its recipient.

* * *

**An Hour and a Half Later**

  
Their Christmas celebration was over and done. Everyone had opened all their beloved gifts and had basked in the joy of the belated holiday. Lexa of course could feel her anxiety slowly rising looking at the mess, so she decided to clean up after everybody, discarding the excess wrapping paper and boxes properly. By the time she was done, each of the floormates had gone to their rooms/apartments to unwind, unpack and get ready for the night ahead. Octavia wanted to touch up her hair, Raven wanted to take a quick power nap, Monty wanted to reconfigure some of the specs on his VR goggles, and Jasper, surprisingly enough, wanted to find the right clothes to wear to impress his girlfriend Maya.

  
That left Lexa and Clarke to themselves in the living room. Clarke was glad they were finally getting a moment to themselves, because she had been trying to find the opportune moment to give Lexa a second gift.

  
"Hey, so I actually have another gift for you?" she said with a nervous excitement.

  
Lexa looked at her confused. "You do?"

  
"Yeah. It's not a big deal." Clarke grabbed her bag and pulled out a photo album. "It's pretty corny but…" She didn't really know the right thing to say. This was an Octavia type gift and it had her feeling incredibly self-conscious anticipating the brunette’s reaction.

  
For the second time that day, Lexa's breath was taken away by this woman. "Oh my god." She said grabbing it. Immediately, she began flipping through the pages and was sent back in time. "Wow. Are these all the pictures from New York?"

  
"Mmhmm."

  
"Clarke…this is amazing." She closed it to look at the cover, noticing that she had decorated it herself and used the picture they took at Times Square where Clarke was staring up at her. That one was Lexa’s favorite.

  
"Yeah? You like it?" She asked.

  
"I love it. But I feel bad now. You got me two gifts and I only got you one."

  
Clarke waved him off. "Oh, Lexa it's fine."

  
"No, it's not." She said, insistent. "I'm getting you a second gift. Anything you want, just name it." She knew Lexa would not let this go, so she gave it a quick thought. That's when she realized the opportunity that had presented itself in this very moment, and she was damn sure going to capitalize on it.  
   
But in that moment, she found that she couldn't speak. Her mind was running a million miles a minute trying to figure out what to say and how to say it. They sat there a while longer, holding each other's gaze. She was getting lost in Lexa’s gorgeous green eyes, debating whether or not she should just kiss her right then and there. She wanted to so desperately. Before her mind could finish the game of tug-of war between _'should I, shouldn't I'_ , Octavia came out of the bathroom all dressed and ready to go.

  
“Alright!” She started screaming. “We’re heading out in 5! I’m going across the hall to tell the boys!” She screamed at the top of her lungs. Clarke mentally cursed her best friend, frustrated at not being able to catch a break.

* * *

**The Bar – 11:51 pm**

  
It was the last night of the year, and no one was disappointed. The party at the bar they loved to spend time at was exactly where they were meant to be. Maya had met up with them and agreed to help Jasper be Monty's wing-man so she could find some lonely girl to kiss at midnight. Octavia and Lincoln sat with Raven at their usual booth taking in a very peculiar sight. Over at the bar, Lexa and Clarke were  
immersed in what seemed to be a very funny conversation while they waited for the bartender to serve them their drinks.

  
Raven was starting to feel like they were in a parallel universe, it was the only way to explain what was happening. "So…Is it just me, or do the two of them seem a lot more…friendly with each other than they were when we left?"

  
"Right?!" Octavia responded quickly. She was glad she wasn't the only one to notice the closeness of the former couple. "They've been like that since we got back. Did you know they spent the first half of their trip together?"

  
Raven shot them a surprised look. "Really?"

  
"Yeah. Lexa took her on a tour of New York City. They went to Central Park, she taught her to ice skate, and they even went on a Ferris wheel."

  
"Wow. That sounds like a plot for a holiday themed romantic comedy." Raven let that thought run wild for a moment and Octavia indulged her.

  
"It does, doesn't it? I could see Sandra Bullock and Sarah Paulson playing them. They would kill it. I would totally watch that movie." Octavia and Raven allowed themselves to get swept up in that fantasy, momentarily forgetting where they were until Lincoln snapped them out of it.

  
"Well do you think their getting back together?" He asked in his lovable yet fading British accent.

  
"Clarke says they aren't, they're just giving the whole 'friends' thing a real shot, but it's completely obvious they still have feelings for each other." Octavia said.

  
"So obvious." Raven added.

  
"It really is." Lincoln chimed in just to feel more a part of the conversation.

  
"I think we should say something to them."

  
Raven looked at Octavia quizzically. "Like what?"

  
Octavia shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. Tell them they should get back together, that they have our blessing."

  
"I don't think we're the ones holding them back." Raven said with a slight chuckle.

  
"Well, maybe Clarke is reluctant to try again because she thinks we'll judge her after everything that's happened."

  
"Octavia, trust me, we cannot interfere. When they're ready, they'll tell each other how they feel."

  
"Are you kidding? It's Lexa and Clarke! They would never admit it to themselves, let alone each other." She had a point and they all knew it. "Can you, at least just talk to Clarke privately at some point?"

  
Raven's eyes grew wide. "Why me? Why not you?"

  
"I already brought it up at the airport yesterday, but if you bring it up to her too, she might realize how noticeable the two of them are being and it'll convince Clarke to talk to Lexa."

  
Raven pretended to be annoyed with the request but honestly, she didn't mind. For whatever reason, she liked being someone people in the group felt like they could go to, but she also enjoyed pretending to be annoyed by it. "Fine. I'll say something."

  
"But you have to wait for the right moment, when nobody's around."

  
Raven let his overconfidence take over. “This is Raven you’re talking to. I got this.”

  
Lincoln looked up in time to see the duo with their drinks in hand, closing in on them to join them in the booth. "Here they come." He said quickly and quietly.

  
As Lexa and Clarke sat down, they were still in the middle of their conversation, laughing as they took their seats in the booth. "Oh my god, they were so freaking funny!" Clarke said trying, unsuccessfully to suppress her laughter.

  
"That's unbelievable." Said Lexa as she slid into the booth right next to her.

  
"Hey, what are you two talking about?" Octavia asked nosily trying to remind them of their presence. Lexa and Clarke shared a smile at each other before turning back to them.

  
"Penguins!" They both said in unison, prompting another fit of laughter from the two as Octavia, Lincoln and Raven watched in confusion.

  
"Penguins?" Raven asked them.

  
Clarke found the strength to hold her laugh long enough to respond. "Yeah we saw these penguins at the zoo in Central Park-"

  
"-And Coney Island." Lexa interjected.

  
"Right, right…anyway, they were flopping around and fumbling all over the place and I just started dying."

  
"I swear, I was scared she was going to stop breathing."

  
Clarke turned toward Lexa. "Do you remember the fat one tumbling down that slide after he tripped?" She asked her.

  
"What I remember is you laughing at an innocent animal's clumsiness." Lexa shook her head and turned back toward the others. "She's so evil."

  
"Oh whatever." Clarke said sarcastically giving Lexa a playful shove. Octavia, Lincoln and Raven just watched the scene before them unfold, feeling like they were in a real-life Nicholas Sparks film.

  
Clarke lifted her glass up to take a sip of her drink. As her shirts sleeve slid down, her bracelet became visible, catching Octavia’s attention. Being the know-it-all friend of twenty years, Octavia knew every piece of jewelry Clarke owned and didn't recall the shiny chain that encircled her wrist.

  
"Hey, I like your bracelet. Is it new?" She asked. Clarke looked at the bracelet and smiled.

  
"Oh, yeah." She said. "Lexa got it for me. It was a Christmas gift. All the charms represent things from our trip."

  
Octavia was taken aback. "Wow." She said. "That's a really sweet gift Lexa."

  
Lexa smiled at the accolades. "Thank You." She and Clarke shared a quick glance and smile one more time that did not go unnoticed by the rest of them. At that moment, they all heard Bellamy’s slightly drunken voice from the opposite side of the bar.

  
"YO LEX! COME HERE FOR A SEC!"

  
"I'll be back." Lexa said to the group as she grabbed her drink and disappeared into the crowd.

  
Octavia saw an opportunity arise and took advantage of it. "Hey, Lincoln…Can you come help me over at the Jukebox. I need a really good song to end the year."

  
Lincoln picked up on her deceptive tone and played along. "Umm…sure." As they got up, Octavia caught Raven's eye and gave her a pretty obvious wide-eyed look. She took that as the signal to take this moment to talk to Clarke about her and Lexa. Raven nodded to her and took another swig of her beer for liquid courage.

  
Clarke turned to her and sparked a conversation before she had the chance. "So…tell me more about your trip back home. Do you remember any more of it or were you drunk most the time?"

  
"I didn’t get too crazy. But I had me some good times back home."

  
Clarke smiled at her. "Nice."

  
"So…what about you?" Raven asked cryptically.

  
Clarke shrugged. "What do you mean?"

  
"Well…Not to be nosy, but it seems like there's something going on with you and Lexa."

  
"You too with that?" Clarke rolled her eyes. "Octavia asked me about it at the airport yesterday."

  
"And what did you say?"

  
"Nothing is going on. Lexa & I care about each other and we're trying to be friends. That's all." The fact that she was avoiding full on eye contact, told Raven all she needed to know.

  
"Are you sure that's all? ...Look, Clarke…. I'm your friend too, so I can tell you that what you and Lexa have is way more than a friendship. Seeing the way you two are with one another, it's so obvious that the feelings are still there and then some."

  
Clarke took a minute to let that sink in. "You’re right. My feelings for Lexa came back… or, maybe they never went away in the first place. But… I don’t know. Do you think I should just tell her?”

  
"Yes. After everything, Lexa thinks that door is closed…permanently. No matter how much she loves you, which she does, a lot by the way, she's never going to try again unless you tell her that's what you want to do."

  
Clarke was so lost in thought, she didn't even notice that the entire bar had erupted into the countdown of the final minute of the year. "Back in New York, we had this moment. We…kind of…almost kissed and I was going to talk to her about it then, but she made it seem like she wasn't there anymore, so I decided against it."

  
"Trust me. She's there. She will always be there. She just needs to know if you're there."

  
Clarke nodded her head fervently and smiled. "I am."

  
"So, what are you sitting here talking to me for?" Raven said confused. "Go tell her that."

  
"Here? Now?" She looked around as the room had made it down to 30 seconds.

  
Raven couldn't help her excitement at the situation. Her inner feminist was escaping. "This is perfect! Go find her and be her New Year's Kiss."

  
Clarke fed off of Raven’s energy. "Yeah. I'm going to go do that!" She got up, downed the rest of her drink and walked toward the crowd to find Lexa.

  
"GO GET YOUR GIRL!" As Clarke disappeared, Raven looked around at the empty seats next to her. "I am single as fuck." She said to herself quietly taking another swig of her beer.

  
Clarke was a woman on a mission, maneuvering through the crowd, pushing past all the drunks and party girls, searching for Lexa.

  
" _22!...21!...20!_ " 

  
She scanned every face she saw, but was lost in a mass of strangers. She had no idea of where in the bar she actually was.

  
" _14!...13!...12_!" With each passing second, the butterflies in her stomach flapped faster and faster, wanting so desperately to find those familiar, beautiful green eyes and get lost in them forever.

  
Clarke found a barstool and stepped up on lower footrest bars, scanning the top of the crowd, trying to catch a glimpse of Lexa’s head. That's when it dawned on her just how tall everybody around her was, which only increased her frustration.

  
Suddenly, across the way, she saw a group of people raising their glasses to clink them together. She couldn't see their heads or faces, but beneath one of the glasses, wrapped around the wrist of the hand that held it was Lexa's bracelet. That shiny Tungsten Carbide chain served as a beacon for Clarke, drawing her towards the brunette like their very own gravitational pull.

  
" _10!...9!...8!_ "

  
She hopped down and headed straight in the direction from which she saw her arm. The more eagerly she tried to shuffle through the crowd, the more difficult it seemed.

  
" _7!...6!...5!_ "

  
She was running out of time. She needed to reach Lexa before the countdown ended.

  
" _4!...3!_ " 

  
Just then, the swarm of people before her parted like the red sea, and the path they opened up led directly to Lexa. She could see her at the end of the tunnel. As quickly as her feet would allow, she made a beeline straight for the brunette, her heart beating a million miles an hour.

  
" _2!... 1!_ " She was right behind her. As every single occupant of the bar screamed, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Clarke reached her arm out to Lexa, ready to grab her, spin her around and plant her lips onto her.  
Before her hand could grab hold of Lexa, a woman she had never seen before jumped up onto the brunette, throwing her arms around her and attacking Lexa’s mouth with hers in what was supposed to be Clarke's New Year's kiss. What hurt the most was that Lexa didn’t seem to be pushing her away.

  
Clarke felt a pit form in her stomach the size of a black hole. She thought she was going to be sick. Turning around, she pushed past the people she fought to get through only moments ago and headed straight for the front doors of the bar. With every ounce of strength she had left, she held back her tears.

  
When she got outside, she struggled to catch her breath. It was like she got the wind knocked out of her. With a shaky exhale, she tried to fight the urge to cry, but that fight was in vain. Leaning slightly over the railing, her hands gripped it tight as her tears fell down her cheeks and onto the cold pavement.

  
Behind her, she heard the bar doors open once again. "Clarke," came the voice of her best friend. "I saw what happened. I'm so sorry."

  
Clarke nodded, not ready to let anyone see her face. "It's fine. It was stupid. I don't know what I was expecting to have happen."

  
"Are you okay?" She heard from Raven who had followed Octavia out to check on her. With both of their presence behind her, she just didn't feel like putting up the tough façade right now.

  
Turning around to face her two closest friends, she shook her head and let it hang in defeat as a few more tears fell down the sides of her face and land on the ground. "No. I feel like an idiot."

  
"Clarke…It's going to be okay." Octavia tried to reason with her. But she was just not in the mood to hear any of it.

  
"No, it's not. Back in New York, she said she didn't want us to jeopardize our friendship, so I let it go. I should have listened. But I didn't. I let myself get caught up in my feelings, misinterpreting everything Lexa did, and now look where I am. Spending the first moments of the new year feeling miserable and alone and….heartbroken." She let out a sob. Octavia and Raven pulled her in for a hug.

  
"Look, Clarke." Raven began, hoping she could get the chance to talk her down. "We just have to regroup. That girl is just some random lonely skank throwing herself on the closest person she could find. It meant nothing."

  
"No. It meant something. What just happened in there was a sign from the universe. I made it clear, very early on how I just want to be friends, I didn't give Lexa any other choice, and now I have to accept that. I made my bed now I have lie in it."

  
"I wish there was something we could do." Octavia had never seen Clarke completely give up. In all the years she had known her, she had this 'go-getter' attitude that she had always admired, but looking at the grown woman before her, she just looked broken.

  
"You guys are already doing it." She squeezed each of their hands, silently thanking them for being there for her always. As they leant in for one more hug, they heard the bar doors open again and out came Lexa. The three of them quickly let go of each other and Clarke turned around to wipe her face before the brunette could see the evidence of her tears.

  
"Hey…I thought I saw you guys come out here. Is everything alright?" Lexa asked, sensing the sullen mood in the air surrounding the girls. Octavia stepped off to the side, silently signaling to Raven.

  
“We’ll let you guys talk.” Octavia said, pulling Raven along with her back into the bar. Lexa watched after them, wondering what the hell was going on. She turned back to Clarke who still had her back towards her.

  
“Clarke. You okay?” Lexa asked cautiously.

  
Clarke wiped her eyes and let out a sniffle before responding. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.” She said turning around to face her ex.

  
“Have you been crying?”

  
“It’s fine.” She lied.

  
Lexa stepped closer to her. “Hey. What’s wrong?” She asked with the most sincerest tone, that only made the blonde that much sadder.

  
Clarke shook her head and waved her off. “Don’t worry about it. It’s stupid.”

  
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that.”

  
“Seriously Lexa, I’ll be okay. You should just go back inside. I’m sure that girl you were kissing is getting lonely.” If Clarke had any malice in her tone, Lexa either didn’t notice or pretended not to.

  
“I don’t give a shit about that girl. I don’t even know her. She’s just some random that ran up to me and kissed me. I’m pretty sure she’s trashed.”

  
Clarke stopped paying attention to what Lexa was saying after the first sentence. “Wait, so… that kiss you two had….” She didn’t even know how to finish what she was saying.

  
“Didn't mean a damned thing. And honestly, it was kinda disgusting. I'm pretty sure she hasn't brushed her teeth in... a while.” Lexa admitted. Just based on her tone alone, Clarke could tell she was telling the truth and truly didn’t want to kiss that girl. “Now talk to me Clarke. Why are you out here crying?”

  
With a new wave of hope, Clarke took a deep breath and decided to just come out with it. “I was coming to find you during the countdown, I wanted to talk to you. But then the second I found you… you were kissing that girl and I just… I felt like I couldn’t breathe.”

  
Lexa took in the information, everything Clarke was telling her. Though, she tried not to read into everything she was saying. “Okay. What did you want to talk to me about?”

  
Clarke licked her lips and took a step closer to the brunette, ready to lay it all on the line, right here and right now. “I miss you.” The blonde whispered as her voice broke with a new wave of tears flowing down her face. “I know I said that I wanted us to be just friends from now on but… Lexa, all that time we spent together in New York. I started to remember how great we were together. It’s like I fell in love with you all over again.” Clarke took another step closer towards her ex, grabbing hold of the brunette’s hands and holding them in her own. “I want to give us another chance. I want to give you another chance. Lexa, I know we both made mistakes in the past, but I don’t care about any of that anymore. I just want you. I love you.” The tears were coming full force now. 

  
She had done it. She had poured her heart out for the person she loved and now she felt free. All she could do now was wait. Wait for Lexa to say what she needed to; to reject or accept her admission. This was the moment of truth. 

  
Moments had passed and so far, all Lexa could do was stand and stare at her, face showing nothing but pure and genuine shock and what the blonde had just said. “Lex? Please say something.” Clarke requested, starting to fear the worst. 

  
“After everything…” Lexa began, still somewhat at a loss for words. “I thought you’d never look at me that way again. Clarke… are you sure about this?”

  
“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my entire life.” Clarke told her with a smile and happy tears flowing down her cheeks. “Lexa, I love you. I’m so, madly and irrevocably in love with you.”

  
Lexa let out a breathy laugh of joy. “I love you too. God, baby, I love you so much.” Without wasting anymore time, Lexa cupped Clarke’s face in her hands and pulled her in for an earth-shattering kiss. Each of them melted into it in an instant. The moment their lips touched, it felt like they were coming home again after being away for so long. They only broke apart when they heard the door to the bar open up and the sound of Octavia letting out a joyful ‘Oooooooooooo’ at seeing the former lovers in an intense lip-lock.

  
“Does this mean what I think it means?” Octavia asked as the two looked at her, finding their entire friend group standing behind the short, feisty girl.

  
Clarke and Lexa, still wrapped in each other’s arms, looked at one another, seemingly communicating telepathically and shared in a smile before looking back towards their friends. Clarke bit her bottom lip to contain her smile and nodded, pulling Lexa closer to her, holding her almost impossibly tighter in their embrace.

  
"Perfect… ‘Cause we’ve got Champagne!" Octavia shouted genuinely excited.

  
"We're going to toast to the New Year." Lincoln said. “And to the two of you getting back together.”

  
Raven looked confused. "Didn't we just ring in the New Year?" she started to wonder just how drunk she was.

  
"Well, yeah. But now it can be just us. It's like Octavia said earlier. We're a family. A multiracial, irritating, weird and dysfunctional family. And no matter what…we'll always be a family. We love you guys." Clarke finally released her hold on Lexa, keeping their hands intertwined and staying close to one another.

  
Octavia looked back at her friend silently letting her know that she was genuinely happy for the turn of event to which Clarke responded with a slight nod that only she noticed. It was a perk of being friends their whole live. She turned back towards everyone else. 

  
"Alright then!" Raven added shouting as though they were still in the middle of a crowded bar. “Let’s pour us some champagne and ring in this new year, bitches!!” She passed the champagne flutes around until everyone had one in hand.

  
"Okay…" Bellamy said getting ready to open the bottle of Champagne. "Let's do this!!!.". With a pop of the cork, they all screamed and cheered, holding their glasses out to catch all the bubble spilling over.

 

When all the glasses were filled, Bellamy set the bottle down and they all instinctively circled around it in a small huddle holding their glasses up.

 

"To the New Year!" Bellamy said loudly.

 

"To new adventures!" Octavia added next.

  
"To creating new memories!" Shouted Raven.

  
"To Family!" Lincoln offered up.

  
Lexa lifted her glass to meet theirs, and with her arm resting around Clarke's shoulder, she spoke her toast. "To second chances!" 

  
Clarke followed suit and raised her glass up, not taking her eyes off of Lexa for a second. “To Love.” She said softly.

  
All together, they clinked their glasses with each other's and yelled. "CHEERS!" Everyone sipped from their glasses and hugged each other. Lexa took advantage of the chaos to pull Clarke in for another kiss, communicating to her everything she was feeling through the contact their lips held.

  
"You should know,” She began, eyes locked onto radiant blue ones that somehow made everything right in the universe, “This time… I’m never letting you go. Never again.”

  
Looking into those green eyes she loved so much, Clarke smiled at her. "You better not." Once again, the two locked lips, almost as if they were making up for lost time. After all, they had two years’ worth of catching up to do.

* * *

**Epilogue**

**Times Square, New York – January 1st 4:03 AM**

The street was silent, save for the garbage trucks and street sweepers cleaning up the mess from the celebration that had ended a mere two hours ago. The entire block was covered in confetti. Stepping off the truck to grab the several full trach bags off the curb, one of the garbage men had noticed some of the large pieces of confetti from the Wishing Wall had stuck to the bottom of his shoe. He tried to shake them off, but they were holding their ground. Using a wall to brace himself, he lifted his foot to grab them, ripping them from his sole. With a sudden curiosity, he read the pages that had clung to him, wondering what some complete strangers had taken the time to wish for.

  
Side by side, he held them up.

  
                                        _"I wish I had Lexa back" – **Clarke G., Los Angeles**                                "I wish I had Clarke back." – **Lexa, L.A.** _  



End file.
